Mr. Prof designer home

Here's another "7 Quick Takes":

1. Herman, please stop.  "Since I've been campaigning all week, I haven't had an opportunity to sit down with her and walk through this with my wife and my family. I will do that when I get back home on Friday," Cain told reporters " -- It's painful to watch his arrogance and lack of concern for his family.  I can't imagine anything that would keep a respectable man from hopping on the next plan to his family, when accused of something like this, if false.  This is horrible to watch, and I wish he'd just retreat and let the Republican race continue without this being the top story.  There are much more important decisions to be made, and this perpetual Herman Cain/women story obscures the importance of the issues & decisions facing Republican voters.
2. Are you listening to Christmas music now?  We are, but I'm kind of bummed, I lost about 1/2 of my Christmas music collection when my computer crashed last year.  I can't abide by cheesy or sub-par Christmas music, so it had taken me a while to build up not just tolerable, but enjoyable Christmas music (Sarah McLachlan, James Taylor, Reliant K, top-notch orchestras -- lots of good stuff).  So for now, I'm mainly settling for Pandora stations.
3. I've been embroidering like mad.  I'm enjoying the fuel-for-ideas that comes from Pinterest.   Here's my embroidery board, if you want to get an idea of what I've been doing.
4. Our ladies' Bible study group has been working through the book "What Did You Expect?", and though the cover looks like it was written in 1983, it was only published last year and is a wonderful book about marriage, expectations, and sanctification as believers.  It's very convicting in the very best ways.
5. Doug's at an interview right now, as I type.  This whole transition (our family deciding to stay here in America) has been faith-rebuilding for me, as once again, God reminds me of how much He has always cared for and provided for us.  So many verses come to mind: "Remember the Lord," "The Father of Lights", "The Lord is near," "Forget not His benefits," "He cares for you," "Consider the birds of the air," "The Lord will indeed give what is good."  That is not to say I believe that God will make us wealthy or always comfortable, or that everything will be smooth and easy, but I really am confident that our needs will be met, because He cares for us.
6. Yelling in anger.  Do you yell in your home?  I didn't until our oldest was about 4 or 5, and suddenly, the stress overpowered my will power, and down went the house of cards.  I began yelling at the children when I reached that "boiling point"; it became a pressure valve.  I'd rarely (almost never) yelled at Doug, but began yelling at the kiddos, and I've always hated it.   And of course they hate it too.
   
   So yesterday when a friend and I were discussing this sinful habit of ours, she shared something challenging and convicting-- that she was trying to fully get her head around the idea that God can help her stop it completely.  That it IS possible to never yell again.
   
   Something about that flipped a switch in my brain.  I began thinking and praying more fervently last night... I know it is God's will that I not yell in anger at my kiddos (I say "in anger", because I have no problem yelling a name across the house if I'm cooking and need to tell them something... I just want to ditch the angry yelling), and I know that they hate it.  It is hurtful and it is like poison in our home.  It changes the tone and uses intimidation and bullying to accomplish the desired effect, rather than patiently continuing to teach and love them.  I would never throw acid in my child's face, and yet, I will spew angry words?  That doesn't make sense, and it's not right.
   
   So I am praying that God will work this change in my life... that He will restrain me, that He will enable me to be self-controlled and REMEMBER the distasteful nature of this sin.  That I will not excuse it, or justify it, but that He will help me cut it out of my life.  Please ask me about it.
7. Check out this bit of hilarity:  Jeff Tweedy (lead singer of Wilco) singing the Black Eyed Peas' "I Got A Feeling".  It shows the inanity of pop-song lyrics.

We live in a time where it is easy to be distracted. Technology beckons, with another gadget to purchase, another blog to read, another show to follow... the problem in all of this (for me) comes in that my real life requires my attention. Increasingly so.

Well, well, well... it's Springtime in Texas, and I love it! Here are my quick takes for this week:

When I initially chose this blog name, we were living in our 5th place in a year's time, and though we had only lived abroad for 5 months, we were already setting up our 2nd overseas home. Little did I know that God had a plan for us to move another 4 times in the next 4 years, one of them being just a couple weeks ago. "Making Home" has been quite an apt theme for this season of my life.

I just want to share a few of the things God has taught us during this season of unplanned, unexpected, very frequent moves.

GOD IS SO VERY FAITHFUL-- TO US AND TO OUR CHILDREN!
The other day, I happened upon a conversation where someone was having to move for the second time in their children's lives. They were concerned about the psychological impact of moving on their children. And it is something to consider... this is not a "pro-move-as-much-as-you-can" sort of blog post. Having to move, leave friends, set up a new normal, even learn new languages or cultures... it's not easy or ideal or something we would have sought at all.

But one thing I have learned is that God is so faithful. He really doesn't give us more than we can bear (1 Cor 10:13). He is gentle with those that are with young (Isa 40:11). He is faithful to the thousandth generation. Our kids are not an afterthought for Him. He planned their existence, our lives, and their existence as part of our lives, before the foundations of the world. We can trust Him to use all things (even unexpected-- even undesired-- moves) for good.

HE IS OUR PROVIDER
In every place we have lived... whether the 6th floor walk-up apartment in China with the faucet that either trickled scalding water or sprayed freezing water... or the Thai bungalow with feuding, hissing lizards on the ceiling... or our last apartment with the squawking birds that resided in the eaves of the roof just outside our bedroom door and chose the worst times (11pm or 5am-- really!) to squawk... He has given us good and delightful things that did not exist in the other places. Our funny-showered Chinese apartment sat in a valley of sorts and was surrounded on 3 sides with layered ridges of mountains. The Thai bungalow sat above a lush garden filled with amazing trees and flowers, and is where we spent the first four weeks with our precious daughter and allowed us the opportunity to celebrate our older two sons' birthdays with elephant rides. And yes, those squawking birds took residence in the eaves... but those eaves were located above an unusually large enclosed balcony where our children could play soccer and throw balls and get out their energy, even in cold or rainy weather, when we lived in a neighborhood with no park nearby.

He has blessed us, in different ways, in each home He has given. The Father has been so faithful to provide and show Himself mighty on our behalf.

THE LORD WILL KEEP YOUR GOING OUT AND YOUR COMING IN, FROM THIS TIME FORTH AND FOREVERMORE. ~Psalm 121:8
From that home I described earlier-- with the funny shower options--, the place where I first chose this blog name, "Making Home", until today, this verse has been posted on a little card on the back of our front door. It reminds me that there is nowhere I can go where I am out of His keeping and His care. He truly does keep us and lead us, and we can rest in Him. So no matter where He has you, or where He takes you, I just wanted to take this opportunity to encourage you with the ways that I've found Him faithful through our many-homed life. He is good, and (even if it includes some odd details or unplanned locales,) I believe He will faithfully provide for you and your family .

Have you all heard about this book? I was blessed to read it recently, as I received a comment from Mary Ostyn who encourages, shares recipes, and provokes thought over at Owlhaven. What a surprise-- she offered me two copies of her recently-published book... one for me, one free for a reader... wahoo! This means YOU could get this book for FREE!!!

And then I saw the book title:

As humans, God created us in community-- to watch, learn from, interact with, and love one another. And that's a beautiful thing. But often, even if we're surrounded by other Christians, our gaze can shift from where it ought to be to focus on things that are at odds with faith in Jesus. We can focus in on beauty, that elusive thing called "happiness", money, fashion, getting prize-winning photos of our children, having an amazingly decorated home, or more...

I've been reading through Philippians over the past few days, and yesterday I came upon the last portion of chapter 3:

Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

At times that I've read it before, I got hung up on Paul's admonition to the believers to watch him. I would think, "man, would I ever be in a position to say such a thing?" I've heard others attack him for pride on this point. But really, that's not the point of this passage. What I noticed this time was the contrast he presents here-- it's about where our focus is.

He's saying-- don't get caught up being jealous of and making idols of those who are walking in opposition to Christ! They may eat amazing food, they may have lives that seem "enviable", they may seem to have the Pottery Barn life... but he points out: the final stop of their lives will be destruction. They bow down and worship their human appetites and desires. They are focused on earthly things. They revel and delight in things that are shameful.

Instead, our eyes should be fixed on Christ. And we should take as our mentors those who walk in God's ways. Those whose citizenship is in Heaven. Those who eagerly await Christ the Lord, their Savior. Those who recognize the transformation Christ offers now and await the change He'll bring about later. Those who value eternity more than they value the here and now.

Our eyes should gaze in the direction of eternity. It's not wrong to want to learn skills, to work to take care of the home and people God gives you, or to befriend sinners. In fact, those things are good and right and natural for us to learn, and Jesus was and is the ultimate Friend of Sinners. But (I also have to be careful of these things) we have to be careful not to get caught up in fancy photos or (partial) descriptions of someone else's life.

Not only should we not BE the person whose god is our appetite... but we need to keep our gaze from focusing in on the person who lives that way.

We must guard our hearts-- and not let our hearts lust after the life of those who don't know about eternal joy in Christ. OR those who claim Christ's eternal joy but live like they don't really believe it. This passage is saying to us: our priorities need to reflect eternity... and we need to hold fast. That won't happen if our gaze is focused in on those who live like this life on earth is all there is. We have to find people ahead of us-- people worthy of emulation... people who recognize the treasure of Christ and live life in light of eternity. Definitely something to think about.

What say you?
Do you have people like Paul describes in your life that you watch?
Do you struggle with jealousy of those who seem to have a perfect life here on earth?
Do you find yourself leaning towards making a god of your belly or focusing on earthly things?
Let's talk about it.

Catherine R. wrote a moving post a little more than a year ago about her own experience with abortion... and then one day she up and deleted her whole blog in a moment of exasperation. Last week, she wrote her thoughts out once again, and I highly recommend you read her honest account and thoughts laid out here:

• DON'T HAVE AN ABORTION
  

My friend Kelly faithfully writes, day after day, to encourage married women in the area of intimacy & love. This week, she wrote a post that (from what people write here @ MH, & say in e-mails) I think that many, many women need to read:

• SORRY, I DON'T FEEL LIKE TALKING; WE JUST DID THAT YESTERDAY!

This week, two families that we know brought home their adoptive children-- one family, after waiting for nearly 3 years for the sibling group they adopted from Haiti, and another couple, after facing infertility for many years, and unexpectedly getting a call while they were on vacation. Every time-- and I mean EVERY time-- I hear an adoption story, it touches my heart in a place that few things do. Just today I found myself daydreaming about volunteering in an orphanage or children's home... and at least a couple times each year, Doug & I find ourselves having the "should we adopt now?" discussion, which has (so far) been held off. Perhaps one day.

But for anyone who is even remotely interested, even in just helping another family to be able to adopt, this post is monumentally helpful and important. With the main blogpost written as an awesome testimony to how God has provided for several adoptions in her family, plus over 60 (so far) comments thrown in by others with their stories & tips, this is a rich resource full of ideas for how to afford adoption:

• ADOPTION: HOW WE AFFORDED IT

Many blessings, all, and happy reading!

Today, Crunchy Con ran a piece about simple weddings coming back en vogue, and asked people to share about their wedding if they somehow managed to avoid the extravagant $25,000+ affairs that seem to be the "norm" in the east coast.

Well, we avoided that kind of crazy price by a long shot (I think our total wedding costs may have totaled something like $2000)... so I decided to share about it here. Sadly, I don't have access to most of our wedding pictures (they're back in storage in the States)-- but I've taken some semi-fuzzy digital shots of the prints that we have here. I'll bold our money-saving ideas... I'm sure you can find more elsewhere, but this is how we pulled off an inexpensive wedding that was beautiful, intimate, and that we still look back on with delight.

PRINTED MATERIALS
For invitations, I waited to find a good deal and we chose simple, classic invitations from a company that was offering much less expensive rates. We bought some silver-inked pens and some friends and I took an afternoon to address the envelopes ourselves. We limited the amount of invitations we purchased, and nearly all the invitations were sent to people we really hoped would come-- not every Tom, Dick, and Harry we and our parents ever knew. The invitations were sent in a normal rectangular-shaped envelope, so that it did not require additional stamps.

I went into Microsoft Word & designed the wedding program myself, and had it printed on a custom-sized parchment-style paper at the local printshop. Little details like this could have really added up, but by doing them ourselves, we saved a lot of money in ways that really weren't noticeable, and in the long run, don't matter a hill of beans.

GOING TO THE CHAPEL
We got married in our college chapel... a quaint building with ethereal light drifting in the opague windows. In that chapel, I'd worshipped, poured my heart out before the Lord, repented of sins big and small, shared words of encouragement, and led fellow students in songs of praise. Because we were students, we made a deposit and received it back in full, so the location cost us nothing.

THE DRESS
Like every bride, I scoured the bridal magazines and saw dresses that were gorgeous, but found one in a magazine photo that was right up my alley. Of course, as they always are, it would have cost thousands of dollars. But at a friendly neighborhood David's Bridal, I found an almost identical dress for a few hundred dollars. The bridesmaids dresses were on sale at David's. I've since heard from friends who got even better deals at David's by being more open to anything and hitting the sales racks there.

FLOWERS & DECORATIONS
For all the typically expensive stuff, we found some friends who had hobbies in the areas of our need... we knew a young married guy who had connections in the flower business & knew where to get large amounts of flowers for much less money, so we hired him to do all our flowers-- all white daisies (my favorite). I bought glass fishbowl-like glassware (and probably some ribbon too) at a Hobby Lobby sort of store for a fraction of what it would have cost from a florist, and that friend did all the arranging.

REHEARSAL DINNER & BRIDAL PARTY GIFTS
For the rehearsal dinner, we used a dietetics major who was beginning a catering business, and it was delicious-- she worked with us to custom-make the menu and Doug's mom made a favorite family recipe for the dessert. As gifts for the bridal party, I kept my eye out for good deals and bought matching jewelry for the bridesmaids, and we ordered a set of fun-colored swiss army knives off of eBay for the groomsmen.

PHOTOGRAPHY & VIDEO
One of our friends was a campus photographer with a great eye, so we asked him if he'd be willing to do our wedding. He'd never shot a wedding before, so I made a list for him, in order (to go along with the service order), of the basic photos I wanted. I starred the ones that were most important for me, so that if he had to miss a shot, it wouldn't be one that was super-important for us to have, and he came to the rehearsal dinner to practice and get a feel for where he'd stand, where the light would be, etc. He did formal color pictures for all the normal shots, and informal, more artistic black-and-white shots for all the post-wedding & reception shots. He developed a set of prints and handed the film over to us. He did an excellent job, and for payment, my husband painted a Ruth/Boaz themed painting (the "where you go, I will go" passage was a centerpiece of our wedding vows) and traded him the painting for his photography services.

If I had it to do over again, I probably would not have paid the money for a video of our wedding. However, a close friend that sang in our wedding died suddenly only a few years later, and so I'm thankful that I have the video for that one reason. But the cost of the video (perhaps a hundred dollars? can't remember...), compared to the few times we've ever watched it, probably was not worth it.

THE RECEPTION
There was a place on campus with a wall of windows that looked out over the nearby river... we opted to have our reception there, and again, it cost (if anything) very little.

We found a comparably inexpensive local baker who did a beautiful basketweave buttercream tiered cake, and ordered from her, with fresh daisies and an antique Wilton cake topper I'd bought off eBay as decorations. She was most excited about doing the groom's cake-- a chocolate sheet cake frosted with the image of a Rothko painting on top. My husband, Doug, was a painting major, and Rothko was his favorite artist at that time. :)

For food & decor, we hired a family friend with an on-the-side catering business. She made all the reception foods, worked with the floral guy for decorations, and arranged for all the linens, etc. It was simple, as we had an afternoon wedding, with a good assortment of finger foods, desserts, and drink options. For music, we asked a close friend who played classical guitar (Thanks again, John & Julie!) to play whatever he wanted. It was beautiful accompaniment for a low-key and enjoyable reception.

WRAPPING UP
Not everyone has friends in every area necessary for pulling off a wedding, and I understand that... but really, local colleges and young businesspeople are really great resources for doing a wedding, if you're willing to work with them and help them to succeed. Asking around in your "circle" for different people who may have connections with florists, the desire to do catering jobs, or with special skills (like web design, photography, or musical abilities) can really save a bundle of money. Doing as much yourself as possible will save money, and can be done without stress if you plan well. We cut corners on almost everything, but the wedding was absolutely enjoyable and suited us perfectly.

My hope is that this post will encourage young women who may read it to be freed from feeling the burden of pulling off some "perfect" event, and instead opt for something that will be enjoyable and suit your personality without breaking the bank.

Our best memories from the day are seeing each other, visiting with the people we love, and receiving spoken and prayed blessings from our family & friends. And of course, the most important thing of all was that we marked the beginning our lives together before God and others as man and wife. The rest is just details.

I have recently become aware of the fact that I am a bonafide geek. Really.

Evidence?

* Watching Antiques Roadshow (now free for viewing online @ pbs.org-wahoo!!!) or BBC/Nat'l Geographic specials is as delightful as slurping down a bucket of ice cream for me, plus-- my knowledge is the only thing that grows bigger when I slurp down a history special.
* We don't own a TV and like it that way (we do any DVD viewing on our laptops). We miss out on TV & movie trends, but that is A-OK with us.
* Like most women, I like to shop... but what I like to shop for is books. My public Amazon wishlist is quite lengthy... and I have a private Amazon wishlist as well, and it's even longer.
* Learning about history is a main event in our home... (case in point: the night before last, we all lined up on the couch-- even our 1 & 2 year olds were sitting still-- for an hour while we watched a PBS special about Thomas Jefferson. That's right, Thomas Jefferson. I'm telling you, we are dweebs.)
* I'm far too excited about the twenty-or-so tomato plants growing on our balcony.
* After trying out the lemon juice ink trick for secret messages (it didn't work for us, maybe we did something wrong?), my almost-7-year-old and I had a blast writing each other notes throughout the afternoon yesterday in a fancy cipher spy code from a new book of his.


And these are just a few examples. Really, I'm a geek. And I'm completely OK with that. :) Anyone else willing to own up to geekiness?

Came across this quote in a sermon I listened to this morning and thought it might speak to others... it's rich with potential fodder for thought.

“We honor our parents when we repay the love and trouble they’ve taken in our lives. The Pharisees were real bad at this stuff, and they tried to justify it by their commitment to the church. They were just downright hypocritical. They were saying this in Matt. 15—if a man says to his mother and father, “whatever help you might otherwise have received from me is a gift devoted to God", he is not to honor his father with it. And Jesus says, "thus, you nullify the Word of God."… In other words, you can’t weasel out of your commitment to your mum and dad because you’re giving to the building program at church. Don’t tell your parents you won’t be able to see them in Arizona because you’re tithing to the building plan.

Your parents are your parents. That’s what Jesus is saying. If there’s widows in your church and they’ve got children and they’ve got grandchildren, then let the children and grandchildren take care of the widows. If our churches and families were serious about this, it would be radically different. And it’s going to have to get radically different, because this system isn’t going to work. You can’t keep getting older and older and older people with less and less capacity to care for themselves and plug it up by any system except the system that God ordained.

The Chinese understand this… they’re committed to the extended family. African cultures understand this… they’re committed to the extended family. We just reject it—flat out reject it.

…Barely half of the American public believe it’s the children’s responsibility to look after their parents.

But you know what? Why would we be surprised? Do we think this is going to change? Do you think that the children who tomorrow at the age of seven months are going to be taken to a day care center, not because their dad died in the war and their mommy has to go to work, but because their mommy wants to be a “real person” and doesn’t believe in parenting and in marriage and in motherhood. She wants to be a “real” person and so she’s gonna put her seven-month-old in the care of some yahoo who ought to be staying home looking after her kids probably. And the whole thing goes down the tubes from there.

So we’ve got all these tiny little kids living in these boxes; it’s unbelievable. If you think—if we think—that children who have been dumped for the first six years of their lives are gonna somehow come through for their mom and dad in the last six years of their lives, we’re crazy!

What’s the answer? The Fifth Commandment! Given by God to Moses thousands of years ago, and relevant this morning.

There’s something sadly wrong when other cultures without Bibles are better at dealing with the long-term care of their elderly than we, with our Bibles, and our apparent commitment to Jesus Christ.

What do we do? We push people up the ladder of success fast, so that we can topple them off as quickly as we can. We don’t respect old age; we don’t respect wisdom. We just don’t. We don’t ask for their wisdom or guidance; we blow them off. We are committed to youth. We’re not committed to youth because youth is tremendously efficient or because of hard work—we’re committed to youth on the basis of image. … Youth is worshipped. Old age is taboo, dreaded, or despised. We live in a society that isolates and impoverishes those who have given their lives so that we might have an existence. This is really wrong!

…And I’ve gotta tell you, when the signal goes out, and the word is sent, and the call is made, the people who go first to respond to this are not your conservative, evangelical, committed, Bible-believing Christians. The people who go are the people with a theology that we would not embrace but with a heart that we cannot match.

The fifth commandment says to me: we better get our hearts and our attitudes and our resources in line with our convictions, that as parents we better teach the wee ones to honor us as they grow. But in our growth, we better not forget that those who have given their lives on our behalf demand our utmost commitment and respect at the end of their days. ”

Alistair Begg – “Family Life, God’s Way”

Also-- here's a little reminder that if you're interested in my "book reviews" for the 2009 reading list, I'm adding to it as I go, and have added a couple recently... here's the link.

This week, I have been completely and utterly overwhelmed by my Father's perfect and amazing knowledge of me and our family and not only our needs but longings, and even the things that would suit us just right but that we'd never think to ask for. It is incredible (and yet should be obvious to us) how much the Creator knows His children and longs to give good gifts at the right time.

I have a picture story in my head about it and I thought I'd share it with you all.

*****
The Father's Delight
Felicity had worked this job for years... it required constant time with people, nearly constant time in her car on the road, and rarely provided days off. The money wasn't great but she loved her job. Even on her days "off", because of how much of "her" the job required, she was never mentally having a day "off". Her ratty old hatchback had served her well enough for many years-- got her from A to B and ran faithfully. It definitely wasn't good for efficiency, her back often got sore because of the poor stuffing in the seats (it was coming out), and it didn't allow for long trips (it went through oil like crazy), but she couldn't complain.

She had decided to take her vacation a bit early this year, and she had only three more miles until she was home to visit her parents . Her dad would be there, like always, welcoming her at the driveway with a big smile on his face, ready to scoop up her bags and hear about her recent travels.

When she rounded the corner this year, though, she was immediately confused. Instead of her father standing there in one of his 80's sweaters, there was a beautiful new car with a big bright bow wrapped around it sitting in her parent's driveway. She pulled up to the front curb and slowly got out of her car.

Her dad watched her pull in and stepped out onto the porch with delight. "It's for YOU, Felicity!"
"What??"
"Go look inside."
She stepped over to the car, slowly sizing it up and taking it in. "This can't be for me; it's far too nice! You must've spent a fortune."
"It's yours; and here are the keys to prove it!"

Slowly a smile spread across her face and she seemed utterly lost for a response. Lumbar support-- her back would never get sore again. Room for four friends-- plenty for the groups she needed to carry. Tinted windows-- no more squinting! Plenty of legroom. A place for the super-sized waters she hauled around. He had seen to every need and then some.

"It's top of the line for fuel efficiency, and I got you an iPod connection so you can listen to all of your music through the car speakers instead of your earbuds." It was even a beautiful shade of green-- her favorite color.

He had thought of everything and lovingly purchased a car meant just for her. "After years of watching you be content in your old hatchback, I decided it was time to just bless you through and through." And he did.

"Oh, Dad," she threw her arms around him and buried her surprise-ridden face in his chest, "I can't thank you enough!"

Her dad smiled. As a father, he delights to give good gifts to his children at just the right time.
*****

I am that daughter, and God has blessed us tremendously in the location, layout, timing, and neighbors in this new home. I can't thank Him enough. I feel absolutely unworthy of His unexpected kindness to us in every detail of this new place.

The internet connection is spotty, so even if I had found time to write, I haven't had a connection long enough to write anything out... but my Father even allowed enough time on the rogue wireless signal I'm jumping on to let me type out this little story of gratitude.

He truly is a Father who loves His children. James says, "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, in whom there is no variation or shadow due to change." He is an unchanging, always faithful Father who delights in giving good gifts at the right time. It is not the gift I want to focus on, although it has come at an incredible time and is amazingly well-suited to our needs & life at this time... but I want to praise the Father for His gift to us... as I walk around this house, doing the daily things I need to do, using the gift He's blessed us with, I want to remain humble and grateful to the Giver of all good gifts.

Perhaps soon I'll share about the faithlessness I displayed just prior to my Father's abundant gift to me. For now, I just want to praise Him for it.

This song has spoken greatly to my heart in these last few months, and I hope it will speak to yours.

#1- This successful, hard-working feminist says feminism has sold her a disappointing lie. Of her years pursuing career success, she writes, "What a waste of time.":

I made a conscious decision not to have serious relationships because I thought I had all the time in the world. Many of my friends did the same. It's about understanding what is important in life, and from what I see and feel, loving relationships and children bring more happiness than work ever can.

... I am a failure in my own eyes. Somewhere inside lurks a woman I cannot control and she is in the kitchen with a baby on her hip and dough in her hand, staring me down. She is saying: “This is happiness, this is what it's all about.” It's an instinct that makes me a woman, an instinct that I can't ignore even if I wanted to.

... As I write this I feel sad, as if the feminist principles that my mother brought me up on are being trashed. Am I betraying womanhood? No, I am revealing a shameful truth. Read the whole article here.

I've written about this here at Making Home several times (most plainly here), and each time I do, feminist commenters accuse me of misrepresenting the message of feminism. Stories like this, told by a woman brave enough to speak the truth even when it hurts, bolster the case that feminists have (intentionally or unintentionally) set up young American women for failure, discouragement, and heartbreak.


#2- Found in a sermon entitled "Joy & Suffering" by Dr. Michael Lawrence:

Keep your eyes on Christ and so patiently endure the suffering... so that all will see that you have your eyes set on that which is most valuable to you: Jesus Christ. Friends, all Christians are called to suffer. But not every age and not every place is called to suffer in the same way. ...Our lot here in North America is different. At least right now. It hasn't always been this way, and it may not be this way in the future.

But our lot here in North America is different. For a Christian in North America, to suffer may mean to endure ridicule at work... it might mean enduring rejection at home from family members who do not value Christ as you do. ...In our culture, to endure suffering might mean enduring financial loss for the sake of integrity, or I think even more likely, forgoing financial gain for the sake of obedience. Now, in a culture that revolves around money, this may be precisely the kind of suffering we are asked to endure in order to hold up the surpassing worth of Jesus Christ.

In order for people to understand when we say, "what is the world to me? If I have Christ, then I have more than the world can ever give me, and I have nothing that the world will be able to take away from me." This is a gospel perspective that allows us to show the worth of the gospel of Jesus. Listen to the whole thing here.

#3- A virtual "friend" takes a long, hard look at abortion:

I've really been thinking more about pro-life, and what it means. Is saying that I voted Pro-Life enough? This might be a tough analogy, but was it enough for a German who could smell the smoke of burning bodies to say, "my vote was for the other guy?"

No. It's not enough, not for me.

Pro-Life to me is about more than being against abortion. It's about advocating life. New life, Old life and everything in between.

If children are a blessing, I won't scoff at the family with six kids under age 7. If old folks are valuable I won't huff if I'm behind someone shuffling their feet. I should encourage single moms and rejoice at every conception.

Tommy and I have been discussing what more practical ways we can have a positive influence with our limited time and even more limited budget. [Jess and her husbands' ideas for acting and giving in pro-life ways can be found HERE. And Randy Alcorn's list of "50 Ways to Help Unborn Babies and Their Mothers" is always a good resource on this subject.]

Hope this little noteworthy & quoteworthy gives you something to think about, pray about, and perhaps even some ways to live differently... let's make the best use of the time we've been given!

About a month ago, I watched an episode of "King of the Hill" that got me to thinking. (It's a show about an awkward but kind Texas family... it took awhile to grow on me, but now I find it absolutely hilarious.)

On this particular episode, the pre-teen son, Bobby, has found his cousin's beauty school practice head (a plastic head with a wig) and has been talking and singing to it so that he'll feel more comfortable around girls. His dad finds out about this and is totally embarrassed that his son would do that, so awkwardly, he comes to his room to talk about it:

Hank Hill: "You're just using this head as a crutch."
Bobby Hill: (totally serious) "It's not a crutch, dad. It's just something I've come to rely on to help me through life."

:) Witty, right?

But as I thought about this quote (to be truthful, wondering how I could incorporate it into a post because it cracked me up so much), I began thinking about how familiar words can actually cause us to misinterpret meanings at times. Because we *think* we know what something means, we can skim over it and altogether miss what's being said. I think we (the American church) do this with biblical references to "idols" and "idolatry", because they seem so foreign and ancient.

Allow me to share a few definitions:

• idol: somebody or something greatly admired or loved, often to excess
• idolatry: when anything or anybody gets what God alone deserves
• idol: an object of passionate devotion; a person or thing greatly loved or adored.
• idolatry: excessive attachment to or respect of anything, high esteem which borders on adoration. (adapted from Websters to make more readable)
  

Let's look at some of these words...

• admiration
• love
• excess
• passion
• excitement
• esteem
• adored
• attachment to

...and consider with me... What things or people would be described by these words in our lives?

• TV shows?
  
• Decorating/designing the home?
  
• Scrapbooking?
  
• Blogging?
  
• Homeschooling?
  
• Food?
  
• A particular method of child-rearing?
  
• A particular doctrinal view?
  
• Oprah or Dr. Phil or some other TV sage/guru?
  
• A pastor?
  
• Sex?
  
• A particular hobby?
  
• Getting/staying thin?
  
• Money?
  
• A powerful position?
• Being respected?
  

What things are being idolized in your life? (And for me, what things am I idolizing?) What things are taking our time, energy, and passion? What things are getting our devotion above and before God? What things are we meditating on and spending your money on? What is being excessively adored in our lives?

I don't use these words lightly. Our family has seen-- firsthand-- real, live, bow-down-to-big-metal-statue idolatry, when we went to Thailand for a few months to have our third child. It isn't pretty-- it's heartbreaking bondage and emptiness. To walk past idol houses and see foods, beverages, money, and gifts left for the "spirits"... to see women paying entranced priests so that they might have favor with Buddha. It broke my heart to see how idolatry, in this obvious form, is alive and real and a great stronghold in this world.

But it did show me how much-- in living color-- an idol is something that takes one's focus, soaking up attention, time, devotion, money, and loyalty. And then I brought that message home to roost in my own heart-- because idolatry, in any form, is an affront to God.

To hear something that's particularly insightful to me on this point, would you take a minute and scroll down to the bottom of this webpage? In the black box, you'll find a list of songs. Click on the very top song, called "America's Idols." It may prove helpful as you consider these things... I know it has been challenging to me.

A final "scene" to consider--

God: "You're letting __________________ become an idol in your life."
Any of us: "It's not an idol, God. It's just something I adore that takes all my time, mental energy, passion, money, and attention."

That scene is sad, and probably all too common. It hits close to home when we substitute in whatever things that we individually struggle with excessively focusing on (eating out, TV shows, blogging, football season, politics/doctrine, homeschool goals, etc.)-- those things that take the place of God, as supremely valuable and worship-worthy, in our lives.

Most High God, help us to each evaluate our own lives-- our passions, the things we focus on, the people we admire, and the things we devote ourselves to-- in light of Your Word. Help us to flee from any idolatry in our lives.

Our pastor back home in Texas has spoken before of the "literal definition of amuse".

Let's admit it: we are a people who love to be amused. We laugh ourselves silly over comedians like Ferrell and Carell (and we includes me!); we watch TV shows to fill our weeks; we rent movies to fill our weekends. Video games have taken over much of the leisure time in boys' bedrooms and on college campuses around the nation. Internet usage has become a requirement for life. Even in the Christian community, we amuse ourselves ad nauseum. There are Christian comedians, Christian romance novels, Christian fiction... and on and on and on.

It would be shocking for the average American to live in the world of just 20 years ago, without the internet, e-mail, GPS, cell phones, Twitter, Facebook, (and blogs...). And I'm not suggesting that we pitch our laptops off the nearest bridge, so stay with me.

"BE CAREFUL THEN HOW YOU WALK"
But we need to examine how we use these things. We are in danger of being lulled to sleep, mentally, emotionally, culturally, and SPIRITUALLY-- by our amusements. When our days and nights are filled with technology, news, and fantasy games, and our homes, garages, and storage buildings are filled with toys, electronics, appliances, decorations, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff, stuff..., our minds are in danger of being overtaken, not only by our stuff (although I would argue that most Americans are indeed fixated on stuff), and not only by our amusements (although I would argue that most Americans are indeed fixated on amusements), but also by a creeping indifference to the dying, the poor, the uneducated, the spiritually dead people around the world.

While we upgrade our video games and buy the latest software and litter our children's rooms with educational toys (and yet, ironically, our children are less educated than any previous generation), and our teenagers drive cars the likes of which our parents would never have dreamed to have driven, even in adulthood, meanwhile, the world around us is in critical need of a Savior. In need of Bibles in their language. In need of people who will physically tell them. In need of more than the spiritually-bankrupt materialism and sexuality our culture is selling them. In need of Christ!

Oh how desperately they need Him. And though His coming hastens closer every day, our culture woos us, working to dull our minds, our hearts, and our desires (as well as the minds, hearts, and desires of every culture around the world desperately trying to be as wealthy and "happy" as America) to the things of God. Even in our Christian culture and in our churches... we are, all too often, fixating on stuff and on amusements rather than on intentional, prudent, judicious use of the resources God has given us to further HIS Kingdom.


Oh, God, have mercy on us. Save us from ourselves and our common drift into comfort and ease and that which entertains. Help us to do whatever it takes to wake up to the spiritual complacency we've developed in our fixation on amusement. Wake us up to the priorities of YOUR Kingdom!

Sometimes, between the new gadgets and the gimmes and the advertisements, we can forget God's profuse blessings and get caught up in a sea of negativity... and I just read something that I think will combat this in our lives if we let it roll around in our minds:

Psalm 13:6--
I will sing to the Lord,
Because HE has dealt bountifully with me.

So, I want to share some of the ways that God has dealt bountifully with me:

• He placed me in a family that taught me things of God from the very beginning of my life.
• I have been raised in a country where we are able to worship God freely. I have always known this, but having lived in places where Bibles are hidden and churches meet secretly, I am much more aware now of what a gift this really is.
  
• I have always had a copy of His Word available to me in my language, and I was taught to read from a young age.
• Though I could have gone hopelessly astray, He righted me and gave me a series of mid-course corrections. He kept me from ruining my own life.
• This husband He picked out for me... y'all. Seriously. What a man... I am so very blessed.
  
• He has allowed me to be home with our children from the very beginning, and (having held my "dream" job before having kids) I am fully convinced that no job could compare with this one of wife & mom.
• He is changing us to be more and more like Him... I see evidence of His work in Doug and in my own life as well. And though we're not anywhere near completed, it is exciting to know that "He's still working on me."
  
• He has given us four beautiful, incredibly funny, unique little people to (Lord willing) raise up into men and a woman of God.
• AND... He is already drawing them to Himself. Each one of them is being drawn towards Christ at his/her level, and it is precious to see.
• He is faithful to teach me through His Word.
• He is faithful to convict me of sin and not just let me wallow in mediocrity or shallow, unrefined faith.
• He is faithful to give painful, much-needed discipline when I am hard-hearted and need it, and to deal with me gently when I am broken and easily moldable.
• He is faithful to continue the work that He starts, and I see evidence of that all around me... in our lives and in the lives of the people all around us.
  
• He has given me Making Home, which has become such a neat place where I can encourage, exhort, love, and sharpen (and be encouraged, exhorted, loved, and sharpened by) the Body of Christ, even from a great distance.
• He has even allowed us to live in amazing places all around the world-- letting our family see the day-in, day-out hopelessness and emptiness of atheism, idol worship, and works-based religions. I am so grateful that my children in particular have had this firsthand evidence of the insufficiency of religions that depend on man. I trust that this is part of His plan to draw each of them towards faith in Him & His extravagant grace.
  
• When I offer myself up (through hospitality, writing, praying for a friend, or being willing to do whatever I can do) for His service, He uses me! What a sweet thing it is to be a useful "pot" in the hands of the Almighty God!

And I could go on and on! And you probably could too. Take this day to consider how God has dealt with you.



A request: please don't let this list serve as reasons for grumbling or complaining, even in your mind. There are many, MANY things I could have listed that would not sound bountiful. But the truth is that even in those things, God has been gracious. If I listed out every negative thing that ever happened to me, or every sin I have willfully committed against my God, it would not be a pretty sight.

But we all have so much to be thankful for. Even those who do not know Him as God receive grace from His hand every single day. Rain, food, love, provision, friends, each and every breath of life... all of these things are undeserved grace from His hand. We all have much to be thankful for.

So consider. If you were to sing of God's bounty in your life, what would be the themes of your song?

No matter how perfect the magazine photos, or how classic the stories, or how beautiful the decor, no one has it all together and does *everything*. We need not feel intimidated by the actions or homes of others, particularly during this Christmas season.

If you go to a Christmas party and the house is decorated perfectly, perhaps they're not taking time to make homemade Christmas goodies. Or maybe she has grown children. Maybe their master bedroom is a mess. Maybe she has a natural flair for that and it doesn't take near the effort it would for you or I. It could be that their family is using disposable everything-- dishes, napkins, diapers, and more-- during this season.

What I'm saying is this: don't heap on guilt because you don't have whatever someone else has or aren't doing what someone else does. We don't always see the whole picture.

If their kids are geting all the most expensive and "must-have" things for Christmas, it could be that they scrimped and saved all year. Or maybe they got a windfall bonus and decided to have a big Christmas this year. It could be that their grandparents are wealthy and give extravagantly (sometimes even despite the wishes of the parents). Or perhaps they're in mounds in debt.

Whatever the case, and whatever the reasons for their situation, someone else's life doesn't have to speak judgment into your life and your actions/inaction.

Everyone leaves some things undone. For our family, some of our "must-do"s are: time together as a couple, homeschooling, nursing, having friends over, and spiritual input into the hearts and lives of our children. And right now, I'm also making baby food and preparing for a lengthy visit from my parents in just 10 days (YAY!). So here are some of the things we're leaving "undone" this year:

• Cloth diaper usage has been put on "pause". About six weeks ago, the laundry was mounting up, the holidays were approaching, and we began having more gatherings in our home... so we've been using disposables for a while.
• We still haven't decorated for Christmas. We might do some small things, but I'm not going to do much this year.
• Our master bedroom is a mess. I had this on my list of things to tackle this autumn, but I just haven't gotten around to it. A random assortment of duffle bags, nursing bras/pads, 0-6 months baby clothes, and a not-yet-switched-to-Winter clothing wardrobe has left it a mess. And we're OK with that. We're both messies anyhow, so for us, that's not a big deal.

And there's probably more I'm not thinking of right now. But, my point is this: everyone leaves some things undone. Extend grace to yourself and don't feel bad if you don't have it all together... cause no one else does either.

If you had to boil down your life to one thing... what would it be?

What's the theme, the substance, the summation? What would the people around you say that it is?


Here is a challenging series of men and women and their "one thing"s from Scripture:

• "One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple." ~Psalm 27:4 (King David)
  
  
• "As [Jesus] was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.’” And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.” And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions." ~Mark 10:17-22
  
  
• "A woman named Martha welcomed [Jesus] into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving... The Lord answered her, 'Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.'" ~Mark 10:38-42
  
  
• "A person cannot receive even one thing unless it is given him from heaven." ~John 3:27 (John the Baptist)
  
  
• "One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see." ~John 9:25 (A blind man healed by Jesus)
  
  
• "I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith—that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
  
  Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." ~Philippians 3:8-14 (Paul)
  

If you have time, go back and just read the bolded parts-- there's a definite theme among all of them. They're all zeroed in on discipleship & dependence on Christ. We can get so easily distracted from the "one thing", can't we?


Father, keep us focused on the "one thing": dwelling with You, following after Christ, listening to You, recognizing that all things are from You, remembering what You have done for us through Christ, and straining after what You have laid before us.

It is amazing to me how clearly You've laid out the "one thing" that our lives should center on, throughout the entirety of Your Word. Your Word is so clear and illuminates our path. Thank You for speaking clearly to us-- today as always. Teach us to strive after the "one thing"-- knowing and learning from YOU, through Your Word, identifying with Christ who suffered and bled for us.

Looking for stuff to ponder? Learn about? Be challenged by? Here are my "show and tell" offerings for November-- enjoy!

FEATURED ARTICLE

• HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? Read it. Consider it. It's worth your time.
  

Thoughts on Blogging

• Bloggers: You've only got 96 seconds. Whatcha gonna do with it?
• Build a better blog-- 31 great articles that will get you motivated.
  
• Is blogging going the way of the dinosaur?

Thoughts on Life With Kids:

• "I can't be a foster parent, because..."
• Consider adoption.
• Don't get a divorce.
• Forgo caffeine while pregnant. New studies show negative effects.
• Want to make a precious homemade doll? Looks pretty easy.
  
• Teach kids to be careful. Good thoughts on houseproofing your child.
• God, have mercy on children growing up with such foolish parents. ( "Male and female He created them and He blessed them" )
  
• Answer their questions. A good explanation of why we should be around to answer their questions, and why we should take their questions seriously.
• Be a parent who displays God's glory in the way you talk about your children. (This family is SO inspiring and has such faith!)
• Know some honest mommy blogs by moms of teens or tweens? Go share the links with Christine.
  
• When a 16-year-old doesn't seem college-bound... thoughts on giving counsel, and how to prepare a son or daughter for non-degreed life in the real-world.
  

Thoughts on Womanhood

• Women & Femininity- another good word from Driscoll.

Thoughts on Saving Money

• Make a price book. It'll save you money.
• Make a price book. It'll save you money. (Yes, those are two different links.)
• Inexpensive, beautiful nightstand ideas
• I've heard nothing but good things about these from-scratch breadsticks. In fact, I've heard that they're better than Olive Garden's. So, enjoy.
• Roast your own coffee. OK, maybe it wouldn't save you money. But it's interesting nonetheless. When you live in the middle of nowhere and want fresh coffee, necessity truly is the mother of invention.
  
• A compilation of twenty-five money-saving tips.
  

Thoughts on Homeschooling

• Mary Grace has a good discussion going about a potential weakness of homeschooling.
• A collection of great, free educational websites

In the "Amen" Corner:

• Accept the gray. Don't live only in black and white.
• What are some of the biblical freedoms in lovemaking for married couples?
• What should we do if one of us is not in the mood for sex?
• Things I miss about cable T.V.
  
• Pray more than you criticize.
• What happens when "Me, Myself, and I" becomes god
• The heavens declare the glory of God- WOW! Check this out-- WAY cool.
• Worthwhile thoughts on Christmas.

Enjoy... there's some good stuff here.