Mr. Prof designer home

American society has long placed a high premium on being a leader. Leadership skills are hot commodities on transcripts and resumes. Leaders of companies and organizations are revered. Even within the church, there is often a strict division between leaders and laity (aka, those of us in the pews).

So as parents, we are often led to believe that our aim is to produce leaders. That the goal of parenting is to produce strong individuals. However, not every child is naturally a leader. Should we then, in an attempt to produce a future CEO or President of An Important Community Club, mold that child against his/her grain to have "leadership" skills? In considering this question, this is what I've come up with. (As always, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.)

Our aim ought not be to make a "leader", but rather to help our sons and daughters have discretion enough to know what things to follow. Our society has a bad connotation with the word "follow"- but really following is an EXCELLENT thing- if we're following the right thing.

If a daughter is falling prey to the materialism rampant in American society (even in children and teens), and following her friends in a desire for more and more toys, rather than training in leadership skills, we should begin training her in discretion. This can happen by watching the commercials on TV and asking questions- "what are they trying to get you to believe when they say '_________' about those dolls?" Or "what do you think about _______?" When we're watching a TV show, we ask questions like, "Why did Laura follow Nellie and end up doing that bad thing?" "What do you think you would have done?" "What's the right thing to do?" We can also find examples of someone following someone in a good way... and ask questions about that. Begin getting those kinds of questions to roll around in her heads... so that when she encounters something wrong (whether or not you've talked about it before), she will have a built-in system of evaluation about whatever it is that others are doing, playing with, or saying. Whether or not she is a leader, she will then be equipped to evaluate what others are saying, even those peers she would normally be swayed by. (Of course, just as most things in child rearing, this will need to be continually taught and reinforced.)

To me, teaching discretion is a more important parenting task than teaching leadership... and you can do that while walking down the aisle in Target, you can do it by looking through catalogs, you can do it by looking through Proverbs and finding applicable verses about lust for things, etc... you can do it by watching commercials, and you can do it by pre-game and post-game commentary before and after playing with friends.

Frankly, I think we ought to be all training our children to be better followers- but we just need to make sure they know what to follow. Our society highly prizes "leaders"- but not many people actually get to be full-out leaders... whether at a job, or in government, or at home or whatever, there's always a chain of command and an authority placed over us. And some people may never get to be the 'leader'- but ALL of us get to be followers at one point or another.

And of course, as Christian parents, we want our children to willingly submit their lives to God's leadership. This all may just be semantics, but I'm just trying to raise a different way of looking at this situation.... In so many ways, if you have a son or daughter who is a "follower", it can be a GREAT thing... I would just spend time shaping his/her view of what is worth following, a la Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

"Consider this," author and speaker Tony Campolo says.

"The typical size of an American house has increased 40 percent in the last 25 years. It's not because we're having more children; we're having fewer children! We need bigger and bigger houses simply to hold all the stuff we don't need. What's even worse is that we're renting out space in storage bins because we can't contain all the stuff we have in the huge houses we have at our dispoal. It has become an insane society as far as surplus is concerned."

We're about halfway through what will hopefully be a "farewell" tour to see family and friends. We just spent the last two days at my in-law's home, where my mother in law taught me how to sew. What a wonderful thing it is to craft a dress for a wonderful daughter! So for show and tell today, I want to show you pictures of the "firstfruits" of my sewing endeavors. Here's the one we made together (front and back views as best I could get pictures of them on my wiggly one-year-old!):

It's a size 2, so that she can get a lot of wear out of it.



Then I made this one all by myself last night between the hours of 7pm and 1am:

The colors are brighter in person than they are in this picture- it's a really fun dress... and though I made a few mistakes, I learned from 'em and that's what counts! (ETA: In case you're interested, here's the pattern for both dresses.)

Now, here are a few links for you to peruse and enjoy while I'm gone for a few days.
CULTURAL COMMENTARIES:

• A Gracious "Take" on the Paris Hilton Mediafest: What should our response be, as Christians?
  
• Christianity Round the World Vs. American Christianity
• A man's view of modesty & lust: Blinded By the Sight (not for young readers)
• How one machine is cracking the shell of abortion-rights: Ultrasound and the future of abortion.
• Younger and Younger Teens are Viewing More and More Online Porn. Read Ray's article.
• Enough is Enough is an online resource to help you make the internet safer for your children and teenagers. Here's a page of resources from EiE about children and sexual predators, online and in real life.

CHRISTIAN WOMEN'S INTERESTS:

• The first of a four-part interview with NancyLeigh DeMoss- Follow the links to read all four parts, and be inspired by this challenging woman
• Mary Mohler has put together an excellent booklet about modesty. She strikes a balanced view of modesty... and offers practical teaching on what biblical modesty looks like. (When you open it up, you will have to scale it down to 100%)
• Sara has written an excellent verse-by-verse commentary on Proverbs 31. Definitely worth your time.

ON THE HOME FRONT:

• Need a new recipe? Try the Pampered Chef Chicken & Broccoli Braid (it's SOOOO delicious)!
• Who has the heart of your children?
  
• Interested in midwifery? Here's an interesting, informative, and heart-warming video about one midwife that you'll enjoy watching.
• Want to eventually be a stay-at-home wife & mom? Here are some things you can do now, married or not.
  
• This guy proposes that Christians begin using a new language of sex.

And one remaining but very important thing: in case you haven't heard or noticed, Mike Huckabee has impressed media and regular Joes alike with his performance in the Republican debates. He's gaining momentum, and it's not because he's a friend-of-celebrities. Even hardened media writers have started to notice Huckabee's genuine likability, talent for speaking, and a new-ness that no one else in the Republican field is offering. It's because he's an impressive man with authentic faith, and a fresh perspective that this country needs. Take a look at Mike Huckabee; you'll be glad you did!

Happy reading and have a great week!

I don't think I've told you ladies just how much I like the egg. Scrambled, fried, or on a sandwich. Omelets, french toast, dutch puffs. Used for extra filling inside lasagne & casseroles, or for a good coating on a pastry, eggs are SO versatile, so full of protein, and so delicious!

Here are some of my favorite delicious and easy egg-y recipes: Oven-Baked French Toast & Dutch Puff, and here's an article about controlling your appetite by eating the incredible, edible egg!

Happy eating!

This post will seem obvious to some people. And to others, it will seem completely foreign, like learning a new language. Perhaps some might even see this as a fearful thing to be avoided. But I feel compelled to share this: I believe that transparency is vital for a friendship to grow beyond surface-level interactions.

LET HER SEE THE REAL YOU
If we are going to have authentic friendships, others have to know us. We have to open up; we must let others see us for who we really are. Without pride and pretense, but without false humility either. Others won't be able to speak into our lives if they don't know where we are, nor will there every be anything beyond shallow conversation if they don't know about the things that make our hearts soar. Basically, we will not have any genuine friends if we don't let the door of our hearts open up to allow others inside.

It can be a difficult thing, yes. It requires risk, yes. It may even mean rejection, yes. At times, we will have to be very wise and use discretion as to who we share our hearts with. But the rewards infinitely outweigh the risks. Opening up to others not only ministers to you- but it will minister to them.

Now I'm not talking about telling your deepest, darkest secrets to a lady you've just met at a luncheon. But I AM saying that when we are in a friendship and the opportunity comes to share, then more often than not, we will be blessed if we opt to share transparently with the other woman. Yes, there are gossips who will nibble up morsels and tidbits and consume our lives as they would a romance novel, but that concern is really addressed in the initial discussion of how to choose a godly friend.

LIVING LIFE AS AN OPEN BOOK
Honestly, I find that my life is more effectively used by God in the lives of others, and that my friendships have grown deeper when I treat my life as an open book. I hate having secrets or trying to remember who knows what. It is just easier for me to love others and minister to others if I am open about my own life- the good, the bad, and the ugly things that have happened to me, that I have done to others, and that have been part of the shaping of who I am today.

That's not to say that I go around blabbing my most personal and intimate details to any stranger on the street, but I am not going to keep a closet full of hidden away facts about myself. Instead, I'm going to try to shed the light of Christ into every area of my life, confess those things that are unattractive and ugly, and share my story--even my failures and hurts-- with anyone I can, in hopes that God can use my good, bad, and ugly to encourage others towards Himself.

MAKING MY WHOLE LIFE AVAILABLE FOR HIS USE
I want my whole life to count for Him- and I want to have friendships with all kinds of women that will draw more and more women deeper and deeper in their relationship with Jesus. If it takes me being open about my life in order to help others walk more closely with Him, then YES- it is ABSOLUTELY worth the risk, the potential rejection, the possible shame, and anything else the enemy might try to use against me as a result of my openness.

Here's what I'm trying to get at: THIS is your real life. Your past, present, and future all make up the story He's weaving in your life... there's no re-do. This is the one crack you get at this thing called life. Whether it's ugly or painful, boring, or embarrassing, it's your story. And the same goes for my life - THIS is my real life... so, for my part, I want Him to be glorified from all of it. I want every single drop of my life to be squeezed out and used for His potential glory. I want even the pain and shame of my past to encourage my friends and the women I know towards godliness.

We all like to be around someone who is REAL- who has flaws and isn't afraid to admit it, but who is fully and intentionally running after God. I want to be that kind of woman, so that I can be useful, so that I might have deep friendships, and ultimately, so that my life will glorify the God Who made me. And I want to encourage you to be that kind of woman, too.

In this modern and self-seeking and all-accomodating age, we have muddied the waters of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Christians talk about a "Sinner's prayer" and use extrabiblical (and perhaps even unbiblical) phrases like "a God-shaped hole in your soul" and "ask Jesus into your heart" to describe the miracle of salvation.

Contrast our simplistic and self-focused terminology with the simple yet radical description given by Peter when he was asked about what one should do with the truth about Christ:

"Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to Himself." -Acts 2:28-29

Here is a list of top-tier EXCELLENT books I would classify as "must reads" for the thinking Christian woman. While it is not a comprehensive list, and I will continue to add to it as I find noteworthy books, these are all books that have been critical in shaping my heart, life, and mind. I pray they will be a blessing in your life as well.