Mr. Prof designer home

For this month's "Inside Look"(a firsthand point of view on the first of each month), I wanted to feature the perspective of a lady who has taught me many things, and from whom we could all learn much.

I first "met" Renee about a year ago through a homeschooling forum, and have continued to learn from her heart for children (both through birth and through adoption), and from her general wisdom about life. I hope you'll enjoy her perspective on mothering -- in situations that range from the very familiar to the completely unfamiliar to us as American moms:

It was a grey and rainy day as we zoomed along the streets of Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. We were four days into our trip, and I snuggled our newly adopted Ethiopian baby boy in my arms.

On the schedule for the day was a visit to the orphanage where another of our Ethiopian children had lived before coming home to us a year prior. During my time in Addis I had seen poverty which shocked my mind, and it broke my heart. I was still not prepared for the scenes which were playing out on this day.

I could scarcely hold back my tears as I saw the desperate conditions which seemed to grow bleaker with each passing mile. There were many small children wandering the streets alone. They had no shoes and their clothes were tattered. They were precariously close to the cars, and at times they wandered right into the traffic.

The streets were the home to the sick, the infirmed. The pain and desperation was palpable. I wanted to see and remember each person.....for they were someone's child, someone's mother, someone's father, someone's sister, someone's brother. They were real flesh and blood people, and they mattered. They mattered to God, and I wanted them to matter to me too.

As we made a turn I saw her lying there..a woman who looked to be about my age. She was lying in the mud. She was obviously sick. As our car passed, by she weakly lifted her head and looked our way. It was then that I noticed that she too had a baby in her arms.

I immediately thought to the night before when the rains poured down so heavily. I wondered where these two precious people were then. My heart told me probably in that same spot. While my new baby and I slept in a warm and cozy bed...they slept in the cold rain with mud for their bed.

I tried to imagine what it must be like, and then I thought back to a question that I am sometimes asked, in reference to my Ethiopian children; "How could their mother ever give their children up? I love my children too much," they say. God help me, I have had those thoughts too. How could a mother give her precious child up?

It was at that moment that God taught me what real love is. It is laying down your life. My children's birth mothers laid down their lives for their children so that their children may live. I can clearly look at my children, and tell them that they were loved. They were loved dearly, and desperately. Ethiopians love children dearly. It is evident everywhere you go how precious children are to their culture. They grieve over the poverty, disease, and loss too. Even though death, illness, and poverty touch their lives more often than it does here in America, it doesn't hurt them any less.

One of the greatest lessons God showed me why he said in His word "to judge not lest you be judged." How unfair I am to judge a situation I truly know nothing about.

While I worry whether or not my children are consuming hydrogenated oils, there are mothers in this world who wonder if and when their child will eat.

While I worry about choosing the perfect homeschool curriculum there are mothers who know their children will never get one single day of education.

While I moan about yet another "well baby" check-up there are mothers whose children will never see a Doctor, even if they are desperately ill.

Jesus taught me so much about grace on my trip to Ethiopia. He taught me about sacrifice, and His love, and how He wants me to walk.

He has not put me in a position where I have to lay down my life literally for my children. He has shown me that I do need to lay down my life each day. I need to lay down my time, my plans, my wants to train up these precious children whom He has entrusted to me. These children are ultimately His. I am merely a steward of them for a short time.

It can be an uphill battle in a culture which seems to breed selfishness. Mothers are told they need to do something more with their lives than stay home and wipe noses and wash laundry. There is little glamour attached to a "Stay at Home Mom". The catch word of our day is "me-time."

Life in America can be a struggle. There are many distractions which draw me away from the call of managing our home and the training up of our children in the way they should go. I have learned over the years that the distractions are not necessarily evil. In fact, many times they can be useful. The problem is that they may not be God's best for our family. I need to seek Jesus daily in His Word for His plans for our home and family, not mine, not our cultures, but His.

I am so thankful for this calling of Motherhood. It is a blessing, and a gift, and one I treasure.

After my recent blog redesign, which yielded this lovely brown design that is so much warmer and more relaxed than the previous red design, I've received a lot of comments and e-mails asking me for details about how to do a blog redesign. I've received enough questions that I decided I'm going to do an entire series about it. I hope it's helpful for you bloggers who, like me, aren't html experts or computer techs, but simply want to have a nice, personally-pleasing design that suits your blogging purposes and intentions.

Let me preface this whole series by saying these things:

1. I am by NO means an expert. But if I have learned one thing by watching good "managers" and "governors", it is this: you don't have to be an expert about every little thing if you consult and can rely on experts who DO know what they're talking about. And the internet gives us the opportunity to connect with people who DO know about html, backgrounds, color codes, and all the rest. So throughout this series, I'll be referring you out, to tutorials, to tips, and to great resources-- all of which can help YOU redesign YOUR blog, if you are so inclined.
2. This is written from one perspective: that of a non-tech-minded Blogger blogger (me). If you use Wordpress or some other blogging platform, you may be able to adapt these general principles, and many of the resources may still be helpful for you. But I can't answer questions or give advice about those other platforms, and frankly, even answering questions about the Blogger platform will be limited to my own experiences and whatever information a quick google search can provide.
3. If you don't want to do any of this, you can always pay someone else to do it! There are advantages and disadvantages to this... but if you aren't in the mood or mode to fiddle with your own blog, then by ALL means, you can pay someone else to do it for you, usually costing anywhere from $50- $200, depending on what you want the designer to do. And there will be good results, I'm sure.
   

OK, onto the fun stuff. First up, here's what this blog looked like, prior to my recent redesign:This one lasted about 6 months... maybe a little longer. The one prior to that was the one I started out with-- pretty much a basic Blogger design in a fun green color. So I started out blogging with a standard Blogger-offered blog design, slowly implemented a few changes, and then went to a whole new redesign in May or so. I have slowly learned a little bit here and there about redesigning a blog, from a NON-expert point of view, and I think the best place to start is with DREAMING.

DREAM ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT!
To have a satisfactory outcome, I start with considering what I want. There are many things to consider (colors, theme, header, general "feel", usefulness of the layout, how many columns, etc.).

STEP #1 - Look at your current design.
Ask yourself: what works and what doesn't work about my current blog design? What are you tired of? In other words, what one or two things, if unfixed, are really going to continue to bug you? Perhaps it's the color (as it was in my case... I was tired of the over-energized red.). Perhaps it's that your design looks boring. Perhaps it's hard to read because of the font or layout of your blog. Figure out what bugs you, and determine to fix that/those things.

Remember to acknowledge, also, what you like about your blog. In my case, I liked the two-column layout. It's simple... text on one side, links and everything else on the sidebar. I liked the size of the header-- it is commanding without taking up the whole screen. I also like having a designed header rather than just the words in print that come standard with Blogger. So, figure out what you like, and try not to change those things.

STEP #2- Look at other blogs that you like.
You won't want to copy their "design"... in terms of exactly replicating their colors or "feel"... but you WILL want to think about what you like about different blogs you visit. Are links more simple to find and click on because they are in a different color? Do they have a combination of many colors and leave you feeling energized, or does the simplicity of the colors they use relax you? Does their blog design match the themes and subjects that they write about?

What is it exactly that you like about other blogs? A cute or fun header? Graphics and bold design, or simple pictures and backgrounds? A fancy signature at the end of each post? A layout that allows for more links and extras on the sidebar? Perhaps blogs you like to read have a more "down home" feel, or a more streamlined, academic look. Figure out what you like, and that's what you'll want to consider including in YOUR redesign.

STEP #3- Look at Blogger blog designs.
Look at the basic options Blogger offers to see if any of their "schemes" or "designs" suits your needs. It doesn't have to fit, colorwise... we're going to talk about how to change all of that. And even the sizes of columns can be played with. I'm talking basics... for example, do you like the order of the columns (some have links on the left, some on the right)... do you like the simplicity of the layout, that kind of thing.

Choose a blog design that will be easily adaptable. For example, don't choose one that has a big butterfly on the bottom right corner. Choose lines and formatting that suit your taste but that will also be easily personalized to your specific design requirements. My blog design is all based on the same basic layout I've used from the very beginning, called "Son of Moto"... it used to be thin and green, then I made it wider with reds, and now it's browns and simple. It's a good basic layout, and I'm happy with it... I just adjust it for my purposes.

STEP #4- Think about the colors, background, and/or theme you'll want to use.
If you're looking for a particular graphic or photo, go to a photo warehouse (I like inmagine.com) and browse for the kind of picture(s) you want to use.... if you're doing a teapot theme, for instance, search for teapots, tea, teacups, tea time, etc. If you're looking for something with a house in it, search for that.

You'll also want to consider if you'd like to have a background design. Go to a place like Squidfinger (you can also do a google search for blogger backgrounds, or blog background designs, etc., to find more design sites that offer these for free); each potential design will give you a basic tile of what the background would look like... I used a design from squidfinger, and completely love it. It's a simple way to distinguish your blog from others. I'll tell you how to use these in another post... but for now, just browse and maybe bookmark your favorite options.

Spend time thinking about what color combination you'd like to have. If, like me, you're not a naturally-inclined interior designer with aesthetically amazing color combinations oozing out of your brain, you'll want to look around you- browse magazines and websites to find color combinations that please you. Mine this time is a simple brown/cream/white theme. Last time, it was red and black with a touch of yellow, for an Asian feel. Think about what you're going for... perhaps a field of lavendar flowers? A nest with robin's eggs in it? A well-worn couch with a stack of books on it? A leather covered journal with a quill pen laid across it? Think of a theme that will match where you are in life, or that you'll simply like, and then coordinate your colors around that theme.

Don't limit yourself to one idea, but I wouldn't seriously pursue and try to work with more than two or three color combinations or theme ideas.

OK, SO I'VE SPENT TIME DREAMING, WHAT NOW?
Once you've DREAMED, determining what you want to get rid of, and what you want to keep from your current blog design, browsed other blogs to get ideas, looked at blogger templates to find a good, basic template, and decided on a basic theme or color scheme that you want to center on, even having selected a few possible pictures or graphics to include in your design, then you're ready for the next step-- getting into the nitty-gritty of DESIGN: designing your header and any other graphics you'll use on your blog (signatures, bullets, banners, etc.). That's next-up in this series of posts. Click here to read Redesign Your Blog, Part 2.

Then we'll talk about DEALING WITH HTML-- how to get your ideas to work... backgrounds, headers, widgets, etc. Click here to read Redesign Your Blog, Part 3. I hope this will be a helpful series for you as you consider redesigning your blog. If you're considering doing this, and have any specific questions or issues you'd like me to address, leave me a comment! I'd be glad to try to help you through any issues you're encountering (as long as you realize that I really am no expert!). ;)

As promised, I've found some more Britannia Manor for you.

One of the best is a tour of Britannia Manor by Emily Balistrieri on the 1UP blog.




Gadgets and science and automata, oh my! Also included: an authentic antique Vampire hunting kit to make AlexCF weep.

Go see the whole tour.

Lord British, aka Richard Garriot, is one of my hometown's techno-celeb, and game producer extraordinaire. His home, Britannia Manor, is a place of legend (and the location of famous Halloween parties). What a surprise it was, then, when reading through November's Fast Company, to discover an article about Garriot which included pictures of his home.



In front of Garriot is a brass model of the galaxy. The left hand side objects are not very clear -- upon consultation with various family members who know old electronics we think there's a test kit on the bottom shelf and perhaps an old Bang * Olfsen equipment on the middle shelf. On the upper right there's an hourglass and a metronome, on the lower right shelf is a anniversary clock (also known as a 400 day clock) and a collection of old cameras. I can't quite tell what's on the middle right shelf -- perhaps a stereoscopic viewer? A slide carousel? A balance scale?



Glass eyes, and something neat that even my power engineering father-in-law couldn't identify -- it has alligator clips, one of those little rotating turbine type things (you've probably seen glass globes that you set in the sunlight that have the same sort of thing inside).



Ok, so the shrunken head is a bit grotesque for my taste, but the cylinder on the right is a Curta mechanical calculator and the camera on the left is probably a technical field camera. Random chemistry equipment on the upper right, and the glass eyes again in the lower right.

There's some more material on the house online, so I'll try to do another post soon with the best of it.

We've discussed birth control many times before here on Making Home... but it's been a while. A recent post I read on another blog again raised a question I've had in my head for a couple of years. I posted about it roughly a year ago, but didn't get any "takers".

This time, I'd really like to hear from you, if you are currently, or in the past have, or would like to be, an NFP (natural family planning) user. Essentially, NFP is a method by which women monitor their bodies in order to determine times of fertility. During fertile times, which is generally defined as 7 days before ovulation and 3 days following ovulation (based on the lifespan of sperm and eggs), couples abstain from times of intimacy in order to avoid pregnancy for that month.

Personally, though, I can't see how, for the Christian couple, that method can "square up" with 1 Corinthians 7:3-5:

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

With 10 days of fertility that come with every monthly cycle for a woman, NFP seems to require abstaining from sexual relations for 10 days out of every 28-ish days. I can't imagine intentionally abstaining from intimacy for 1/3rd of my married life... and frankly, it seems like it would do precisely what 1 Cor. 7:5 warns about-- having temptation creep into the marriage relationship from the outside. To me, that kind of planned time apart on a regular basis doesn't sound like the small amount of time spent apart in devotion "to prayer" (not for birth control) that may occasionally be used ("perhaps") "for a limited time."

So, those of you who use NFP (or have used it in the past), really, I'm wanting to know-- how does this square up in your mind? It may sound like I have my mind made up, and truthfully, I don't really see how it could square up-- but it's possible that I just haven't heard from NFP users who have thought about this and have a good explanation. Please, bring your thoughts... and if you are a reader who hasn't used NFP but would like to join in the conversation, come on! I'd love to hear any and all thoughts on this issue.

An acquaintance of mine recently asked a group of women that I'm a part of if we ever felt like the best years of my life were behind us... she is struggling with transition issues (children growing older, changing her "roles" in life, etc.).

Here is how I responded:

There's a book I've been reading, called "The Best Half of Life" by Ray & Anne Ortlund... and in it, Anne talks a lot about how the last half of our life can be our most useful and joyful half, if we are purposeful and see the hope in it. I am already beginning to adjust my mind to thinking this way-- not that NOW is the "time of my life" (which is what our culture SCREAMS at us), because I'm still in my 20's... but that my usefulness and joyful service will not run out until my life does. That the last half of my life (which, according to the world, should be filled with maladies, medicines, depression, and a critical, unsatisfied spirit which always talks about "the good old days") will be even better, even more useful, even more fulfilling, and even more effective for the Kingdom, as was the first half of my life. And then I will hope to hear those sweet words, "well done, good and faithful servant."

Something she (Anne Ortlund) wrote has really stuck with me. She said her life verse is Proverbs 4:18- "The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn; it shines brighter and brighter until full day"... she prays that God will make her life like that... never diminishing or becoming less bright... but that her life will continually burn brighter and brighter until she burns out, at which point she'll be in His presence.

That's something that resonates with my heart- maybe it will with yours too.

This is something that has been on my mind a lot lately- - how unaware we are of the way our culture lies to us, telling us that the best years of our lives are those when we are most foolish and clueless about life. NO- Christian woman! Don't buy into the lie. The best years of our lives are to come... the best years, when we are most wise, most experienced, and can be used for the Kingdom of God in the most fine-tuned way are AHEAD of us!

Part of the problem is that it is ingrained into us to only think of the present-- to "live in the now". And while it's true that we do need to be focused on usefulness and spiritual growth today, we also need to balance that out with verses like James 4:14, "What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." We need to recognize how quickly life passes... and learn from those who have gone before us. If life indeed passes quickly, then I don't want to make the foolish mistake of being entirely wrapped up in the "now".

See, I'm 28 right now. Many of you are in different places, age-wise. But here's the deal: I could spend the next couple of birthdays lamenting the loss of my youth... then in ten years, do that again, and then in ten years, go through it once again. I'm not suggesting that there won't be any adjusting to seeing a different number on the page when I write my age. Nor am I making light of the wrinkles and sags that I'll undoubtedly find multiplied on my body twenty years from now. Nor am I minimizing the true biological and hormonal changes that women of various ages have to adjust to.

But what I AM saying is this: I want to age gloriously. I want to burn brighter and brighter, like Proverbs says. I want to delight in the fact that I am closer to meeting my Savior, and that I am (prayerfully and hopefully) wiser and more like Christ than I was in my younger years, rather than to be downcast because I am not as young, hip, and shapely as I was when I was ____ years old.

Don't you want that?

I don't want to be a woman who pines for days gone by... instead, I want to be one who is able to rejoice at the things that have passed, rejoice in "today", AND rejoice in what God will do in the future! Let's not buy into the lies of the world and have our years and our joy stolen from us. Be useful now, yes, whether you are 24 or 44 or 64... but also let your mind joyfully wander to those future days, when your body may be fading, but your spirit, your wisdom, and your countenance will be all the brighter in shining for the Lord Jesus.

Just curious how you guys see this issue... Some people put great stock in the meanings of the baby names they choose. Biblically and historically, this was often an influence in the naming of children. Some people might even see name meanings as a sort of expectation, prophecy, or prayer for what the child will be like: maybe brave, or a strong man of faith... perhaps a gracious woman or a woman of renown.

Nowadays, in America, it seems that meanings aren't as critically important to us. For one thing, I don't know any little boys actually named "Sonofmyrighthand" or "Godisgracious". But I do know people named Benjamin and John. The meanings of girls' names can sometimes be more easily pegged: for example, girls are often named after character traits: Faith, Hope, Grace, and Charity.

So I'm curious how you see this issue... how important is the meaning of the name to you?

• VERY IMPORTANT: It may even be prophetic in the child's life... this is a high priority for me when choosing names.
  
• IMPORTANT: I like a good meaning and select names with that in mind.
• WORTH CONSIDERING, BUT NOT CRUCIAL
• NOT IMPORTANT: If I like the name, it matters very little what it means.
• IRRELEVANT: Meanings are completely meaningless. I don't consider this at all.

Answer the poll on the right hand sidebar, and leave me a comment! :) I would be interested in hearing not only what you've named your children and why (if you just want to leave the meanings for anonymity's sake, that's OK)... but also what YOUR name means and if you like it, and if you've lived up to it in any way.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

[Graphic generated at redkid.com]

Greetings everyone! Well last Friday was the first day of Renninger's Antique Extravaganza here in Florida and as I was in need of some smaller inventory, I took the day off and when antiquing. First off, the weather was glorious here! I actually started the day off in a coat, but by afternoon I was in a sweater. 40's in the am and 60's in the afternoon. That's winter here in always hot and sunny Florida! As I am not a native, I welcome these breaks from the typical weather and to combine the cooler temps with antiquing--well it was almost more than I could take! But I endured, as all us die-hard antiquers do and pressed on in search of treasures. I wanted to share some pics of my finds below. Lots of tarnished silver, some ironstone, a great old drawer, great frames, two cute stools, a plant stand, an oil painting and a print in old frame and wavy glass, vintage soft balls (I don't know why--just thought they were fun), an old working clock, 2 fab old books with hand-written dedications inside (love old hand-writing), and a great old route 259 sign. I also got a great chimney cupboard (not shown) and a really awesome old cafe umbrella with cigar advertising on it. That will appear in a future post I promise. Well enough already--please enjoy the pics of my finds!

Happy Thansgiving To All!

Shelley

In continuing this stretched-out series on Titus 2 mentoring, I thought I'd share some of my own experiences with mentoring- both as the younger woman, and recently, as the older woman. I hope this gives you some practical insight into where I'm at in the whole process of learning about Titus 2 mentoring.

BEING MENTORED
I'll admit it, I've been one of the voices crying out for Christian mentoring and discipleship in a crooked and perverse generation. We need women who will affirm the things of God in our lives. Even if our mothers are godly, praiseworthy women (and when they are, we praise GOD!), we still need other women to teach and train us. No one women has all the answers, and as much as we can, we need to surround ourselves with wise counselors. As a young Christian woman, I have longed for and prayed for women who are ahead of me on this road of life to be willing to take me under their wing and TEACH ME!

And I must say, I've been fortunate to have not just one, but many women willing to share their lives with me and teach me.

One friend of mine, Angie, who has mentored and befriended me for over 12 years now, welcomed me into her home when she had young children. We talked about life as I watched her nurse her babies. We talked about ministry and the life of a wife and mother as she changed diapers and fixed broken toys. We talked about priorities in parenting and how to maintain a strong marriage while her daughters (now young ladies) swam in a kiddie pool. She shared her convictions with me as I shared my struggles with her. I love this woman. I can't tell you how much of an impact she and her family have had on my life. Only God knows how much.

Another woman, Christi, has taught me about grace and beauty. She takes great pleasure (and has a real, God-given talent) in beautifying the home environment. She is the woman who first piqued my interest in the MBTI personality typing. From her, I have learned to appreciate the beautifying of our homes... and learned to have grace towards people who are different from me. She has had the guts to challenge me at times when I spoke too harshly or forcefully about personal convictions, and she in turn has been humble and sought to learn things from me (for example, when I'm reading an interesting book, learning something new, etc.) . I really appreciate her friendship.

There have been others too, but these are two women who have challenged me and loved me and taught me, even though they are very different women and have gone about "Titus 2ing" me in different areas.

MENTORING OTHERS
About three years ago, a college student approached me one night at a church fellowship and asked if I would consider setting regular time aside to mentor her. And so began what is now a precious friendship.

Lindy & I have talked and walked through various life issues together-- dating relationships and marriage, what it's like to be pregnant, how to think about and prepare for marital intimacy, what books are good preparation for womanhood, and just life issues as they come up: pride, submission, God's will and how to discern it, cloth diapering, friendships with guys/girls... all kinds of things. So much of what I've "passed on" to her have been things that were taught to me by Angie in particular. It's been such a blessing for me to have things to share, as well as to pray for her and walk alongside her as she strives for biblical womanhood in this world.

There have been other friends, too, who have taken more of a learner's posture in our friendship and might characterize our friendship as more of a mentoring situation... but Lindy is one who came to me in that capacity and who I have grown to love as a result of that specific time together.

TITUS 2 IN REAL LIFE
I'm so thankful for these neat opportunities I've already had in my life to not only learn from others, but also to teach younger women about the things Titus 2 challenges us to implement into our lives. Here's that passage one more time:

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

An anonymous reader brought this question for your consideration:


I recently married my husband. We are both Christians, both with past sexual sin. We are in crisis. I never have, and still don't, enjoy sex. I don't know what to do. I have no sex drive. My husband is thinking the worst of our marriage, feeling as though I don't find him attractive, etc. I really do love him, but I don't have any sexual desire towards him at all. Looking back, the lust of the world is so much more appealing. I know it's bad to say, but it's the truth. How can I get a sex drive? Please help.



Think about what you would tell this woman if she came to you for advice, and leave your advice and answers in the comments. So many women struggle with these same themes... past sexual sin, lack of desire for intimacy, etc. Perhaps you, too, have struggled with these things... if so, I'd invite you to share your thoughts, struggles, and successes in this area. I hope that the advice shared here will be biblical and helpful to any and all who may struggle with these or similar issues.

*** Because this is a sensitive subject, and I want to encourage your ability to share openly, I will publish anonymous responses to this question. ***



If you have a question you'd like to submit for the Making Home Answers & Advice column, CLICK HERE.

A friend of mine recently asked what specific things my husband and I do to feel connected and intimate in our marriage. After writing out my response to her, I thought I'd share it with you.

• We spend significant time together nearly every evening. Here are some things we like to do with that time:
  
  - We like to get TV series (older ones on DVD) and watch one or two episodes in the evenings. We're not all rigid about it, but we'll sit down and watch Lost Season 1 over the course of a month, or we'll watch Frasier and laugh it up together, etc.
  - We also watch occasional movies together... if it's a long one, we'll break it up over two or more nights.
  - During those times, we fairly regularly give each other massages... he rubs my feet anytime I ask (and sometimes without me asking- what a man!!!) ... and if his back is hurting, I'll sit behind him and rub his back. Having that physical touch gets us relaxed and readies us for other physical intimacy! ;)
  - We also play games together. This one is less frequent... and it goes in spurts...
  - Sometimes we just both grab good books and hang out on the couch reading or one of us browses the internet for news while the other one reads. But most evenings, we'll spend time once the kids go to bed (they're all in bed by 7:30/8pm) talking and laughing together and just hanging out.
  
  This is a HUGE priority for us... and has been since our first was very little. Once the kids are in bed, that is our time to spend together, kind of like a regular, in-home date time. Sometimes we have to use it for other things (language study, taking a relaxing bath, etc.), but more often than not, we use that time for TOGETHERNESS.

• We have very frequent times of intimacy. This, too, is a priority for us. We don't go long stretches... ever... and we are very open to spontaneity... we don't tell each other "no" or withhold in this area. And we talk openly about what we need/want. Neither one of us pulls any punches, so to speak. If we want more of x,y,or z in the bedroom, we just say so. We are happy to meet each other's needs and wants in this area, and we really try to delight in each other physically. We make this a priority and are happy to keep each other happy in this area. (This may be TMI for you, and if so, sorry. But I have a personal conviction that this area is TOO tiptoed around by Christian couples, and we need to hear more Christians speaking up and saying that intimacy within marriage can be completely fulfilling and enjoyable! I'm not going to give specific descriptions or times, but I will gladly and openly admit to regularly enjoying intimacy with my husband.)
  

• We share what's on our minds... we read news articles out loud to each other. We laugh together a LOT. We talk about politics and parenting and relationships of the families we know, and what our convictions are about certain things. We're constantly refining our thoughts and beliefs together. We know what is uppermost and secondary and even minute on each other's minds. It is rare for one of us to go longer than a day thinking about something without bringing it up to the other one.
  

• When there is a need or desire for something to go differently in the home, we talk about it AND act on it. When I felt the desire to begin having family devotionals, I asked him about it, and he stepped up and hasn't backed down from that. When our family schedule needs to shift because of a new time constraint, we talk about it and shift our expectations to meet the new demands. We try to meet each other's needs... not just short-term... but for the long-run.

• We regularly ask each other things like, "is there anything you need that I'm not giving?" And we regularly tell each other if something's not right... "I feel like we haven't seen each other all week.", "Can we just hang out tonight and snuggle and watch something brainless?", "Lately, you've been _______, and I really need _______.", etc. We aren't afraid to just speak the truth, in order to have a better and more honestly fulfilling relationship.
  

So those are the "main things" that we do that keep us connected and keep our needs met (and yes, I asked my husband to read through it and he agreed that this pretty comprehensively covers how we maintain our companionship and intimacy).


I'd love to hear what makes YOU feel connected to your spouse... cause we're all different- what makes me feel close to my husband may not be the same as what would make you feel close and intimate in your marriage. So what is it in your marriage that helps you to feel connected with your husband or wife?

Ben has turned me on to old Scientific Americans -- as he says:

I've fallen in love with the Project Gutenberg editions of Scientific American Supplement. Festooned with illustrations of lovely contraptions, it records daft ideas alongside real advances. Perhaps the best part, however, is the prose.

From "The Pitcher Plant" (September 26, 1885):

It is of no use to liberate any of the smaller insects; every fly, removed from the leaf upon which it had been feeding, returned immediately it was at liberty to do so, and walked down the fatal cup as though drawn to it by a species of irresistible fascination.

It is not alone that flies and other small insects are overpowered by the fluid which exudes from the cord in question. Even large insects succumb to it, although of course not so quickly. Mrs. Treat says: "A large cockroach was feeding on the secretion of a fresh leaf, which had caught but little or no prey. After feeding a short time the insect went down the tube so tight that I could not dislodge it, even when turning the leaf upside down and knocking it quite hard. It was late in the evening when I observed it enter; the next morning I cut the tube open; the cockroach was still alive, but it was covered with a secretion produced from the inner surface of the tube, and its legs fell off as I extricated it. From all appearance the terrible Sarracenia was eating its victim alive. And yet, perhaps, I should not say 'terrible,' for the plant seems to supply its victims with a Lethe-like draught before devouring them."

That Mrs. Treat -- she has a fascination with this carnivorous plant that borders on the obscene. Definitely not a strait laced Victorian.

What I'm browsing the SciAms for is diagrams and images to repurpose into all sorts of home things -- posters, decoupage plates, to iron onto table linens, etc.

This, for instance, is a "Plan for a New Style of Submarine Telegraph".

The Project Gutenberg site is a bit complicated to use, but if you search for "Scientific American" you should get everything they have. For a shorter list, try "Scientific American Supplement" Don't follow the "read online" link (this forces you to page through each page, it's harder to use). Instead scroll down to the "formats available for download" section and see if there is an uncompressed HTML version (some have one, some don't). This will let you navigate either by scrolling or by using the table of contents within one large file. (It's also relatively easy to URL hack to get just a directory of images to look through. Of course, you'd miss the scientific romanticism that way...)

Finding some electrical diagrams, similar to the one shown on the Brown (a shop) post, was amazingly easy:


Remember, almost everything on Project Gutenberg is out of copyright or free, which means you can use anything you find for your personal or commercial projects.

So I read about this shop called Brown in Domino magazine, and I thought "Hmm, it sounds like it could be steampunk." Since I was in Houston recently, I stopped by (twice, actually, since they didn't have hours on their website).

Their website describes their stock as lighting, furniture, industrial, didactic, and curiosities. There was a lot of lighting. It was very nice and very expensive, and not "raw" enough for me. There was not much industrial and the "didactic" (vintage teaching posters, mostly) leaned strong towards the biological.

That being said, there was one very steampunk find:



A French teaching poster with a voltage graph. I'd guess from around the 1930s?

Ben pointed out that for it's price of more than a thousand dollars, you could print many large format posters from images in old Scientific Americans. (More about that shortly.)

So -- if you happen to be in Houston Brown might be a good shop to stop by, but expect a store that has a little bit of steampunk tucked away in the corners instead of anything more substantial.

As I've read through Genesis this last month or so, I've been struck by some interesting observations about the women of Genesis. (Perhaps I owe much of that to the insights gained from my recent reading of "Her Name is Woman" , books 1 & 2, by Gien Karssen- an amazing pair of books!) First, we looked at HAGAR: a rejected servant protected and guided by God.

This time, we'll take a look at Rebekah:

A BEAUTIFUL VIRGIN WHO SEEMS TO BE FULL OF FAITH
When we are first introduced to Rebekah, we are told she is a relative of Abraham's, and is a "young woman", "very attractive in appearance"... and is a virgin. (24:16) God affirms the choice of Rebekah as the right bride for Isaac when she offers water for Isaac's servant's weary & thirsty camels. In this action, she seems to be a generous and selfless woman.

She then agrees to move away to marry a man she's never met (Isaac) on the word of a servant she just met... which, to me, seems like a huge act of faith. She may have had other motivations, or she may have had no other choice, but still, this act seems to set Isaac up with a faithful bride. But as we will learn, appearances can be deceiving.

A BARREN WIFE BLESSED WITH CHILDREN
When Isaac meets her, she soon becomes his wife and she comforts him after the death of his mother. We are told that Isaac "prayed to the LORD for his wife, because she was barren. And the LORD granted his prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived." (25:21) Surely Isaac must've been told countless times that it was God Who opened his own mother's womb so that she could conceive him. When his own wife is barren, his natural inclination is to look to God, and God grants children to the childless. It seems, again, that Rebekah would be learning from this faithfulness of God and from the love and wisdom that comes from her husband. But things are not always as they seem to be.

A MANIPULATIVE WIFE & MOM WHO PLAYS FAVORITES
Later, though Rebekah has been given a family and could have been a beloved and admirable example to us all, she chooses deception and trickery to control her family's heir (chap. 27), and to usurp her husband's authority as the son of Abraham. Instead of protecting her husband in his weakness and the frailty of old age, she takes advantage of his blindness and uses it to trick him; she is clearly not the faithful wife she may have seemed to be. Without any hint of regret or trepidation, she manipulates her husband and even works against one of her own children in order to play favorites and hand-select her own favorite as the heir.

A WOMAN WRAPPED UP IN HER CHILDREN
What I noticed reading through these stories this time is that Rebekah derives all of her self-image and joy from her children. How many moms I have known like this! Her whole identity is in her children, and she occupies herself more with their concerns than with her husband. She was willing to deceive and encourage her child to disrespect the man she was one with, all because she was overly concerned with her children. She was wrapped up in their affairs, rather than being a helpmate and lovingly seeing to her husband's needs.

In the end, we find that her choices have not made her happy. The last substantive thing we hear about Rebekah is this: she herself says, "I loathe my life", and asks, "what good will my life be to me?" because her son's choices for a wife are so limited. (27:46) Perhaps it is her keen awareness of her own LACK of faithfulness to her own husband that causes her to be so disheartened by the lack of faithfulness in the young women around her.

REBEKAH: IN THE FINAL ANALYSIS
Rebekah seemed to be a woman with so much faith and promise, and yet, in the end, she chose to deceive her husband, use his weaknesses against him, and encourage her son to use trickery as a means to get what he wanted. Not a faithful wife, not a godly parent, she is left in our eyes as an unhappy woman, whose favorite son ended up moving away from her because of her choices. I think it is interesting that in her effort to "bless" and "favor" her beloved son, she ended up losing fellowship with him, as he had to move far, far, away... and she spent the rest of her days with the man she had deceived and the son she had worked to steal a blessing from. What a pitiful end to what could have been a beautiful life.

Though she was physically beautiful and even blessed by God (despite her initial barrenness) with the gift of children, she did not look to God in faith with her concerns, and instead took matters into her own hands, which resulted in her ultimate sadness and lack of fulfillment in life. She chose to be wrapped up in her children rather than delighting in her husband, and in the end, she loathed her life and counted it a waste. What a lesson Rebekah's sad life is for us as wives and mothers!



[Ed.note: Lest you think me a bad speller or somehow mistaken about the title of the popular TV show that has a similar ring to the title of this series, I just wanted to share with you the definition of disparate: Fundamentally distinct. This series is about distinctive women in Genesis (examining the ways in which they are different from one another) and gleaning what we can learn from them. So, yes, the play on words is intentional; it is not misspelled or random. Hope that makes the title a bit more clear, in case anyone was wondering! :) ~Jess]

OK, so I've been spending way to much time on eBay lately. Sigh.

Ran across this table base that I thought you all would enjoy. It's described as "Industrial chrome and iron mechanical table with central wheel controlling height of top circa 1930. "



That big wheel in the center? Turn it and the table height goes up and down. Start with a sideboard. Turn -- and you've got a tall desk. Turn again -- dinner for two. Turn again -- side table.

Unfortunately, it's part of a "live auction" that is eBay enhanced. That means you can place an absentee bid via eBay. (I'm unclear on whether you can bid via eBay during the actual auction or not). If you were to win it, you'd have to arrange shipping as well. Seems a bit complicated to me, but I just liked the picture. Then again, you might just live in Philadelphia and can go to the actual auction.

More pictures at the eBay listing.

We've talked about Klockwerks before, but you may not realize that Roger Wood, the artist behind Klockwerks, sends out a newsletter via email a couple times a week. Sometimes it's clocks he's built, sometimes it's finds from a fleamarket, sometimes it's something random. My favorite is when you see one week's "finds" in the next week's creations.

Today's newsletter was a coffee cupboard:



Isn't it charming?

All of Roger's clocks are fun. If you need a daily dose of steampunk whimsy in your mailbox, you should sign up for his newsletter (subscription form at the bottom of his webpage).

You may find yourself yearning after one of the clocks you see in the newsletter -- I know I have -- and yet never see it on his website. When I asked Roger about this, he said:

You're not the only one to mention that issue. Sometimes they are a commission, an order or just made on spec. Sometimes they actually do make it to the web site and other times they get snapped up quickly - yesterday's clock-on-wheels was snapped up by a gallery in Maine as soon as they saw the newsletter.
If you see something that you like, let me know and if it is taken, I'll let you know if I can make one similar. My orders are almost all filled now so there should be some fun stuff happening this fall.

Within 12 hours of my "Show & Tell" post, two excellent articles by my two favorite Christian authors/speakers were posted... and I must share them with you. They are both absolutely excellent and worth your time. Please make time to read them.

• RANDY ALCORN writes about Pat Robertson's bewildering and shameful endorsement of Rudy Giuliani, an unabashedly pro-choice candidate, last week:
  
  SACRIFICING CHILDREN ON A REPUBLICAN ALTAR?
  
  He writes:
  Over the years, I have sometimes appreciated Pat Robertson, and often disagreed with him. Now I am truly saddened for him. I shake my head in wonder at what has happened to him and other Christians who once stood up for innocent lives and moral concerns, but whose devotion has now shrunk to social conservativism and Republicanism. That an evangelical spokesperson—though I’m not sure who Robertson really represents anymore—would turn his back on unborn children to endorse Giuliani, who favors legalized abortion, is tragic... Continue reading here.
  
  

• JOHN PIPER writes about the very phenomenon we've been talking about lately... adult-escence, or kidults (adult-aged people still acting like "teenagers"), and gives an excellent analysis that shows how the church should respond:
  
  A CHURCH-BASED HOPE FOR 'ADULTOLESCENCE'
  
  Here's part of the article:
  

  "How Should the Church Respond?

  How might the church respond to this phenomenon in our culture? Here are my suggestions.

  1. The church will encourage maturity, not the opposite. “Do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature” (1 Corinthians 4:20).

  2. The church will press the fact that maturity is not a function of being out of school but is possible to develop while in school.

  3. While celebrating the call to life long singleness, the church will not encourage those who don’t have the cal to wait till late in their twenties or thirties to marry, even if it means marrying while in school."
  ... Continue reading here.
  

PLEASE click on & read both Randy Alcorn's & John Piper's important articles.

King Cotton has posted more of their antique industrial pieces from the 1895 foundry in Georgia on Ebay.



I don't think these are quite a neat as the first set, but still worth a browse.


Glover Machine Works Listings on Ebay.
The original post.

After moving into his new home, Dr. Rafael Fabre (who writes Voyages of a Steampunk Physician -- I particularly enjoy his Victorian Notables feature) has decided to turn his study into a "Steampunk Analytical Engine Room." Since Dr. Fabre is a dignitary in the Second Life Steampunk community, you can imagine that he will spend considerable time in this room. A good reason, I think, to invest some time and money into making it a place of comfort and charm.

Although it is still a work in progress, Dr. Fabre has agreed to share his approach with us. First (in a series) is a review of his favorite source. Since I personally am a better dreamer than executioner ;), I'm very much looking forward to see how the good doctor acts on all these ideas.

---

Finding items and accouterments that fit a Steampunk aesthetic is always a challenge, especially if one is trying to work on a budget. However, a few special pieces are always a nice touch if one is trying to recreate this genre.

On this note, one of my long time favorite shopping locales is the store named Design Toscano". This store specializes in “classic” designs of a variety of genres (Medieval, Roman, Gothic), mostly replica pieces. That being said, they are quite nice and unique, albeit a bit pricey for the average budget.

Steampunk-wise, there are a number of pieces that stand out in their current catalogue – any of which would be a fantastic addition to such a design plan…


Eiffel Tower Phone
There are a number of phones available, but I had to admire the detail on this working piece, including the hand crank and ornamentation. It runs $100 USD, but is a beautiful piece.



A replica Deep Sea Diver’s helmet
For those who wish to follow what I’ve termed the “Steampunk Transportation” theme, specifically one with a nautical flavor, a Deep Sea Diver’s helmet is a must! Although I’ve found a couple on Ebay, (one full size one with brass for about $220 USD, and a half sized one for $50 USD), this might be middle ground (no brass, but full sized).


A bulldog (of any sort)!

Nothing says “Victorian / Steampunk” for a gentleman, like a bulldog – especially one that is wearing a bowler and smoking a cigar! The other aspect of my “Steampunk makeover” will include cigar items -- cigar label art, a humidor, and other items -- easily available from my local metropolis. I am fortunate to already have this little fellow (a Christmas gift), but the price is minuscule as compared to the rough-hewn look of the foundry metal from which it is made.

Also, gentlemen, keep in mind, the “Dogs Playing Poker” is VERY Victorian (actually more Edwardian, as Mr. Cassius Coolidge started painting the “dogs” in the 1870’s, but in 1903 received his big break with an advertising contract) – so having a framed “A friend in need” or “His station and four aces” would be completely appropriate in my humble opinion. Toscano sells “A friend” framed for about $245 USD, but a poster version, with a nice frame works just as well (and is an excuse to get two or even three)!

The Templeton Regulator Wall Clock

Although described as being from the late 16th century, I did admire the exposed gear and cog work, along with the fact it is made of brass – making it a perfect piece for a Steampunk room. A seven-day movement will require a reminder to keep accurate, but I would argue there is nothing better than an actual working piece of equipment with exposed elements, especially if it serves a purpose. At $99 USD, it is again a bit more than the average clock, but the brass work and functionality of this piece is worth the price.

I promised Miss Sara that I would keep her informed of my “work in progress”, and once I begin the actual renovations of the “Steampunk room”, I shall keep her attuned of the changes (with pictures), along with any “discoveries” I encounter along the way.

---

Please do, Dr. Fabre.... I'm looking forward to seeing your creation.