Mr. Prof designer home

My long-time friend Kim, who helped me plan my announcement for my second pregnancy, and has virtually walked alongside me through MANY life changes, is a single 27-year-old woman. (I say virtually because we literally met online and have not -yet- met in person.) We have talked before, and I've read her writings, about the journey of a single woman who deeply desires to be married.

I invited Kim to write this month's firsthand account on the "first" of November, for Making Home's monthly "Inside Look" feature. Here's what she wanted to share with us:

I am actually a little proud of myself.

When Jess asked me about doing a guest blog entry on Making Home, I thought I would be able to write a deep, philosophical, heart wrenching article that would make all of you want to set me up on a date, because how can a creature so wonderful still be single? (I use sarcasm as a crutch. Embrace it. And oh - I will still take those dates, thanks.) But as I was looking back through my own blog for inspiration, I found an entry that kind of struck me, and I wanted to share:

I am TIRED of living out this reality - it feels like it is parallel to the one I think I should be living. I want to be married, working a regular old 9-5 job in an office, or more importantly, staying home with my kids. I want to be able to stay in Louisville and eat dinner with my family on Wednesday nights and go to church at the church where I grew up, and go on double dates with my brother and sister-in-law, and raise my kids with their cousins. But guess what? I can't have that life.

Now, I didn’t go out and get a husband and I have not had any children since June. But you know what I did? I made a choice that God gave me to make, and I am getting part of my dream - I moved home, and I am eating dinner with my family on Wednesday nights.

The above paragraph, however, also does illustrate what it is like, living a life that is a complete and total opposite from what you thought you’d do. I mean - in high school, I had it all planned out - married right out of college, three kids (one girl, two boys), and I’d stay home. We would travel and raise our kids in church and we’d spend the rest of our lives growing old together. (We being me and high school boyfriend. Just FYI.) In reality, I’ve struggled with having a broken heart and a relationship that was outside of God’s design. I’ve struggled with years of singleness when all my heart’s desire was to be married. I have struggled with being a bridesmaid in six (SIX! Twice I was the Maid of Honor) of my friends’ weddings, and being at the hospital through several births. Many of my friends are at least on their second child, or trying to be, by now. And while I most certainly celebrate with those friends and try to rejoice with those who rejoice, and while I would never wish that my friends did not have their husbands or children - I just wish I had that too.

I don’t think people who are on the other side realize what it’s like for those of us behind the fence. Perhaps that’s not fair, but that’s how it feels to be there. It’s like waiting for a plane to vacation, where everyone else is, and not knowing when the plane is going to arrive, or if it is. And yet you keep getting reports of how great it is to be on that vacation, and that when you get there, the wait is worth it. And you believe the people - you believe that it will be so amazing to be on this vacation, but you really doubt that you’re going to end up on the vacation, or worse yet, you fear everyone else will be done with vacation by the time you get there…

There are definitely blessings on this side of the journey, lest I lead you to believe otherwise. The biggest blessing is getting to be there for my niece and nephew, and getting to love on them and spoil them and watch them grow. I know that if I had my own children, my focus would be on them, and so for this time, I am very, very thankful. I can’t imagine loving any other kids more than I love those two! I am also thankful for the time to be under the teaching and example of some very wise, God-fearing women, and learning different approaches to being a godly wife and mother. I hope someday I can put them into practice.

I think perhaps the worst thing about being single, and perhaps the thing I want Jess’s readers to take away from this, is the exclusion factor. Not being a wife and not being a mother excludes me from really understanding the life of about 90 percent of my closest friends. (I have one single girlfriend over the age of 20. ONE. And she’s 30, and in the same boat I am in.) I know a lot about birth and pregnancy, mainly because of my own curiosity and study, and I know a lot about weddings, having helped plan or participated in so many. But of course, I don’t really know. I don’t really know what it’s like to join my life with someone else’s, for the purpose of bringing glory to the Lord and bringing up godly children.

That said - the exclusion makes a girl feel inadequate. Sure, those are often the core issues of womanhood, and I am so thankful for that! But just because I haven’t been there doesn’t mean I don’t want to understand. So when you come upon a single woman, especially one who is a little older, desires marriage and kids, and is biding her time - please take her under your wing. Take the time to teach her about wifehood and motherhood. Let her get to know and love your children. Include her in groups with other married women/mothers. It’s so important to a woman to know that she is still “valid” as a woman, and still has important things to contribute and to learn, even though she has not yet arrived. I am so thankful for my sweet friend and mentor, Amy, who is so gracious in allowing me to learn from her!

Another thing I would suggest to do if you have single women in your life is to pray with them and for them. Pray for them that God would strengthen their faith in this time of uncertainty, that He would give them grace to face situations that are sure to be emotionally challenging, and that He would reshape the desires of their heart, if that is His will. Also pray for them that God will provide for them a godly, loving, and kind husband in His perfect timing (but it is okay to pray that God’s timing is quick!). Pray with them for difficulties they are facing and for emotional challenges. Pray with them that they would not be idle and sad, but that they would use this time to work hard for the Kingdom!

Finally - a very important thing is to be sensitive. Obviously you cannot shield any single friends you might have from heartache - but know that heartache is often an underlying constant in her life. Feel free to ask if she’s okay. Know that she’s heard all the typical lines before, and know that she sometimes does need reminders! Know that sometimes, it’s hard. All of it. Just love her anyway, and know she doesn’t mean to be a grump.

I hope, for those of you who are married and/or do have children, that this gives a little insight into the life of at least one woman who is sad she’s not. I definitely don’t speak for every single woman - there are many out there more godly than me! - but I do know that some of these feelings are common. And I am so thankful that I have women in my life like Jess who want to understand. When I sit and really think about my life, I am indeed pretty blessed.

Kim's online "home" is her blog, Strange Kind of Single. I'm so thankful to call her my friend, and to have the opportunity to learn from her.

I hope that you, if you are a married woman, also learned some ways that you can encourage and be a friend to the single woman around you. As always, any thoughts or comments you'd like to share on this issue would be welcome!

I've been saving this for Halloween. For all you mad (or not so mad) scientists, Necromance has some wonderful old fashioned scientific supplies.

I liked this hot plate of a skeletal hand:



Pigeon Skeleton:


Turtle Shell:


Anatomy charts:


Plenty of other good things, including specimen jars and vials (these would be great in a kitchen -- or full of scary things on a mantel). Many are quite dark. Their prices are quite reasonable -- where else are you going to get a full size plastic replica of a skull for $36?

In addition to their website, Necromance has two storefronts in LA. Both look like lots of fun.




Other shopping posts.

It's amazing when you start looking, what you find and where. I was bowled over to discover the artwork of Peter Tansill in Göreme, a small tourist town in the Cappodocia region of Turkey. We had to fly 15+ hours to find a steampunk artist who just happens to live in Virgina...



Anyway, take a look at his work. He calls it "Compositions of Sculptures with Found Antique Objects." I think the arty word for it is assemblage. While he doesn't use the word steampunk, it's full of old dolls, military references, and reused industrial and mechanical parts. This is what I think a steampunk automaton should look like.



Peter said to mention that most of his work is for sale -- you can contact him via his website.

More art posts.

I've got a new poll up- it goes along with the series we're in the middle of ("How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex"). I thought it would be interesting to get a "feel" for how most of us were told about sex/intimacy.

Here are the options:

• My parents gave me TOO much information (personal details, descriptions, etc.). I wish I would have known LESS.
• My parent(s) gave me an appropriate introduction to sexuality. It may not have been perfect, but they did a pretty good job.
• My parent(s) did the best they could, but I wouldn't do it the same way.
• I got a clinical/biological description with no love or enjoyment as part of the discussion.
• My parent(s) gave inaccurate information (babies come from storks, kissing gets you pregnant, etc.). I had to get my "real" sex ed from other sources.
• My parent(s) gave me a lecture, and made me feel that sex was wrong or bad.
• I heard absolutely nothing about sex from my parent(s). Whatever I learned, I learned from other sources (friends, TV, etc.).
• I was sexually abused as a child and that was my introduction to sexuality.
• Other (please leave an answer, even anonymously)

I tried to cover most of the bases, but already have realized that there may be some I didn't "hit". As always, I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to share everything on your mind... (don't worry about "writing a book") And since this is a sensitive subject, anonymous comments will be published. So let me hear from you- How were YOU told about sex when you were young?

This excerpt was taken from an article in the UK Telegraph, in which a man considers future opinions of abortion, after getting an invitation to attend the opening of a slavery exhibition:

"I found myself wondering how abortion will be viewed by museum curators, teachers, historians and moralists 200 years from now.

As the slavery exhibition shows, something that one generation accepts readily enough is often seen as abhorrent by its descendants – so abhorrent, in fact, that people find it almost impossible to understand how it could have been countenanced in a supposedly civilised society.

How could people not see that Africans should not be bought and sold for the convenience of our trade or our domestic life? We reserve particular scorn for those who sought to justify slavery on moral grounds. We look at the moral blindness of the past, and tut-tut, rather complacently.

It is not hard to imagine how a future Museum of London exhibition about abortion could go. It could buy up a 20th-century hospital building as its space, and take visitors round, showing them how, in one ward, staff were trying to save the lives of premature babies while, in the next, they were killing them.

It could compare the procedure by which the corpse of a baby who had died after or during premature birth was presented by the hospital to the mother to assist with grieving, with the way a similar corpse, if aborted, was thrown away.

It could display the various instruments that were used to remove and kill the foetus, rather as the manacles and collars of slaves can be seen today.

It could make a telling show of the propaganda that was used to promote abortion – the language of choice, control of a woman over her own body – and compare it with less happy information about the infertility caused by abortion, or depression or about the link between breast cancer and having an abortion before the birth of the first child.

It could show how women, vulnerable and often alone, came under pressure from the medical authorities to have an abortion without being offered help with the alternative.

The museum could make a pretty devastating contrast between the huge growth of rights for the disabled, which began in the late-20th century, and the fact that the disability (or even mild deformity) of a child was always grounds for abortion.

Just as, today, we are invited to glare at the Georgian portraits of fat, bewigged English sugar planters or pro-slavery politicians, there could be a rogues' gallery of pro-abortionists.

...

"But the reason I throw this argument into the future is that, with the passage of time, abortion, especially late abortion, is slowly coming to be seen as a "solution" dating from an era that is passing. It will therefore be discredited.

Partly it is the effect of technology. My wife and I still have the video of the scan of our twins at about 18 weeks. You can see heads and limbs. That was in 1989. It bears the same relation to the technology today as do silent, black and white films to modern Hollywood hyper-realism.

Nowadays, it is even more visible and undeniable, as it was not to the first generation of people who had legal abortions, that what you are removing is human – human, though usually not in independent form, like you and I.

It is also visible that this human entity is alive, and therefore that, by removing it, you are taking life.

You may say that this physical image should not make a difference to the moral case, but in practice it does. The famous anti-slavery image was of a black man in chains, on his knees, saying, "Am I not a man and a brother?"

It was powerful because it used the physical to make a direct moral appeal: this person is essentially like you in body and soul, so why do you deny him the rights which you demand for yourself? To see a foetus in the womb is to experience the same appeal.

If you want to do people wrong, you must first undermine the idea that they are people. The Nazis called Jews rats. The Hutu in Rwanda called the Tutsis cockroaches. Pseudo-Darwinian views promoted ideas about racial purity or mental or physical health which allowed those who lacked these qualities to be seen as "inferior stock".

One of the good moral trends of our time has been to reject this way of looking at things. Instead, we insist, in the great debate about what it means to be human, that weakness is not a disqualification, but, by a famous Christian paradox, a strength.

Abortion runs against this trend, and so civilisation will eventually reject it, as once it rejected slavery."

Wanted to share this with you all, with such sadness in my heart.

If you've been to the Holocaust museum in Washington, D.C. , you know the kind of horror he's talking about: walking through a railroad car once used to haul Jews to concentration camps... seeing clothes worn by people who were murdered... seeing pictures, images, relics... it is indeed, not difficult to imagine the horror of our own great-grandchildren when they consider how many lives have been lost to this "choice", the holocaust of our generation.

Tinkergirl was so kind as to send me a link to these wonderful "plans" developed by Melissa Koch/Faryndreyn on deviantArt


Gear Up Cafe by *Faryndreyn on deviantART

The Gear Up Cafe -- It's like someone from 1890 time traveled to the 50s and brought the traditional diner concept back.

Speaking of time, doesn't the clock at the end of the space just work? Want to do something similar? I found a seller on Ebay who makes a couple varieties of 48" clocks (which means it can be done...).



There's a similar 40" clock available online:



Her second room is a boy's room.


Boy's Room by *Faryndreyn on deviantART

It's a typical boys room -- dirty laundry and all -- but it just happens to be on an airship. I like all the references to pirates, robots, and aliens -- this is obviously an airship that travels between the stars.

TinkerGirl spotted the inspiration for the robot on the right -- do you recognize him? It's Tik-Tok who first appeared in L. Frank Baum's Ozma of Oz book.

Great job, Faryndreyn. You have a knack for taking the commonplace and making them steampunk. (Which is, after all, what this blog is trying to do as well.)

LINKS ON WOMANHOOD:

• The Best Thing Out There on Singleness
• Trusting God With Dating Relationships: This article addresses some of what we talked about in a recent Advice & Answers here on Making Home
  
• What Wasn't Said: How Christians miss a major opportunity to encourage and strengthen new marriages in intimacy; one woman's view of a bridal shower.
• The Feminine "Itch": How a desire for children often creeps into the heart of women without warning.
• THE TOP TEN MYTHS OF DIVORCE
  

LINKS ON PARENTING:

• Trucks, trucks, trucks!: One of the funny things of parenting opposite-sex children
• Just For the Record... : Mandi's vent about people who ask, "so are you going to try for a boy?" (just a few weeks after her third girl was born!)
• Renee had two great posts last week that go together about adoption... TODDLER ADOPTION and ATTACHMENT IN ADOPTION
  
• Christine had a "siderant" on one of her posts that I thought was worth cutting and pasting for you to read. Here it is... and it's one of the reasons I love the homeschooling curriculum we use:

  The reason why children hearing books read aloud to them by a parent or listening to an audio book format is good rather than forcing them to only read or be exposed to books that they read to themselves is mainly because children, if allowed to move or do what they want while listening, are willing to listen and can understand content far above their independent reading level. A child's vocabulary and ability to understand and enjoy stories and non-fiction information is superior to their reading skills for a number of years. It starts nearly at birth or at least at about age one, when the language they can understand is above what they can speak. I don't know when it ends, perhaps only when a child or teenager's reading ability progresses beyond a certain 'grade level in reading ability' such as grade 12, I don't know.
  
  An easy example is that a child of age six who is just learning to read will listen to long passages about insects with rich vocabulary and understand it. If you were to give that child a book on spiders written at their independent reading level it would read something like this:
  
  "Spiders make webs. Spiders eat insects. The web is to catch the insects. Spiders live outside. Some spiders live indoors."
  
  You probably would not speak to a child of six in that way as it would be considered (at least in our family) as being patronizing and condescending. A child of six years old is not an idiot and should not be talked to like they are one.
  
  Giving a child of six over-simplified information like that which is below their mental capacities is one way that I feel that adults actually, unintentionally, 'make a child stupid'. All children should be exposed to content which they want to learn about that is interesting and understandable to them. Depriving children of information or to better stories dumbs a child down and hinders their intellectual development.

LINKS ON BLOGGING:

• Incrediblog's Hilarious Rules for Posting on His Blog (this totally cracked me up!)
• Christine writes about When Blogging Hinders Friendship (I've definitely encountered some of what she writes about)

LINKS ON SPIRITUAL MATTERS:

• Rebekah has been studying Spiritual Gifts and examines this issue through the lens of a John Piper sermon (you guys know by now he's my favorite)
  
• HERE's an interesting way to look at the spread of religion on earth in JUST 90 SECONDS! (Go check it out- it's very quick but informative!)
• Kelly has asked an interesting question about when church takes priority or authority over family and individual autonomy as a believer.

ODDS AND ENDS:

• The Love of Money: HelpMeet writes a thought-provoking article about materialism
• Huckabee's Boomlet: The NY Post offers a great summary of Huckabee's recent growth in polls, finances, and popularity.
• Slate Interview with Huckabee: Mike Huckabee explains why he's surging
  
• Free Rice: I can't remember where I heard about this, but it's a vocabulary game where for each word you get correctly, rice is donated through the UN to end world hunger. It's FREE! And it's RICE! IT'S FREE RICE! (Last night I played for 5 or 10 minutes and got up to around 400 grains of rice donated.)

Didn't have anything particularly side-splitting funny today, so we'll end this Show & Tell with Free RICE. :) HAPPY READING!!!

I keep imagining a room made to evoke the feeling of an airship. There are lots of different ways you could do this, from a 1930s cocktail lounge feel that just happened to be suspended under a baloon to a sky pirate ship. What I'm thinking about, however, is more structural. How can a room feel like an airship? I didn't start with the question, but I keep stumbling over things that would work well, and since I don't have an actual room to decorate I'm doing to decorate an imaginary one here.

First, furniture.

Lights

These lights at Pottery Barn look like something you'd use in WWI to spotlight airships in the sky, don't they?



They come in a variety of sizes and shapes -- tabletop, spot, and task.

Walls

This is the hard part. I'd consider this Balloon WallPaper.



But it might be a bit kitschy. Perhaps some seagrass wallpaper wainscoting, to evoke the gondola of a small balloon, and then perhaps paint the walls sky blue (with clouds?) above the chair rail.

Don't forget airship posters.


Finishing Touches

I like the idea of a compass on the floor.


These playing cards on the table.


And a stormglass hanging on the wall.



There. Now that I've gotten that out of my system I can return to daydreaming around rooms I actually have.

From Open Hearts, Open Home:

"I have discovered that even an innate inclination to hospitality must be honed and refined, imbrued and filled if it is to be more than concern about centerpieces, menus, table settings, and spotless rooms.

For Christians, hospitality is a marvelous gift of the Holy Spirit given so that we may minister to this dying society. If our hospitality is to minister, to impart to each who crosses our threshold something of the presence of Christ--if it is to transcend the human and deal in the supernatural--there must be an agony of growth, a learning, a tutoring hand of the Holy Spirit. For some, hospitality is as natural as breathing. For others, the practice must be acquired. For all, it must be nurtured."

When we ditch the Martha Stewart, TLC, keep-up-with-the-trends sort of housekeeping and entertaining model, and instead begin to think of hospitality in terms of serving and loving others, and creating an atmosphere where Christ can be clearly seen as supremely valuable (to borrow a phrase from John Piper, in his "Don't Waste Your Life" sermon), it becomes much less pretentious and overwhelming. Don't you think?

At the same time, it presents an even deeper and difficult responsibility on our part, to have homes that are welcoming, content, and simple yet challenging, just as Christ Himself was. Having an inviting and open home is something we can do in direct obedience to the Word of God (Matthew 25 and Hebrews 13), as a ministry of significance and value, regardless of what "stage" of life we're in. As women, we want our homes to look lovely and inviting, and it can be embarrassing when things are a royal mess... and yet, we must not let this goal of tidiness or presentation become an idol that takes priority over this basic welcoming spirit we're to have in the name of Jesus Christ.

I'm learning some new things about hospitality, and hope these things I'm learning might challenge and encourage you, too.

Unfortunately unattainable, as the owner found this happy automaton (I think he looks happy, don't you?) at a Walmart years ago and hasn't seen anything like it sense.

Wow! My friend Theresa at Garden Antiques has nominated me for a You Make Me Smile Award! This is especially fabulous coming from her because I love her blog and all the awesome pictures she shares with all of us! You must save her in your favorites and check back often to see what she's been up to. She never disappoints! Now I must nominate ten wonderful women whose blogs make me smile. So here they are:
1. Garden Antiques~Of Course! She Rocks!
2. Past Present Collection~Awesome Style!
3. Curious Sofa~If you are familiar with her, then I needn't say more!
4. Prairie Home~Another awesome stylish star!
5. The Feathered Nest~Dawn is truly the sweetest person ever, and great style!
6. Dove Grey Studio~Truly an artist! Love it!
7. Coeur En Provence~A nod to the European influence I love!
8. The French Garden House~Wow what a flair!
9. The Cottage Gals~Wish I could visit your shop!
10. Sadie Olive~Check out her house! Wow!

Blessings to All!

Shelley

This is the 100th post to The Steampunk Home, and I spent some time to find something appropriately festive for such an auspicious occasion: Art Nouveau.

You probably know by now that my idea of a steampunk home is not one that is trapped in the Victorian era, but one that embraces the Victorian era but builds into an imaginary future from there. In reality what this means is that I like Art Deco and Art Nouveau, too.

Art Nouveau was a shortlived artistic movement (1890-1914) between the Victorian era and Art Deco. The introduction to Art Nouveau at the National Gallery of Art's feature on the era (a must read) does a good job introducing us to the influences of Art Nouveau: Many artists, designers, and architects were excited by new technologies and lifestyles, while others retreated into the past, embracing the spirit world, fantasy, and myth.

Art Nouveau was in many ways a response to the Industrial Revolution. Some artists welcomed technological progress and embraced the aesthetic possibilities of new materials such as cast iron. Others deplored the shoddiness of mass-produced machine-made goods and aimed to elevate the decorative arts to the level of fine art by applying the highest standards of craftsmanship and design to everyday objects.

I think this line sums up why it has an appeal in steampunk: excited by new technologies and lifestyles, while others retreated into the past, embracing the spirit world, fantasy, and myth. Isn't that basically the appeal of steampunk? A tension with modern technology and a attempt to deal with it through fantasy? Art Nouveau taps into that fantastic aspect of Steampunk I've talked about earlier.

My favorite architect, especially for interiors, is Victor Horta. The stairway above is from the Horta designed Hotel Tassel and the interior below is from his own house. Both from Victor Horta by David Dernie and Alastair Carew-Cox.



Original Art Nouveau Tiles are available from around US$150. You could use one or two as a centerpiece of a bathroom tile project, or framed on a wall.

I find Art Nouveau furniture relatively easy to come by (and suprisingly affordable) at my local auction house, and I suspect any place that brings in containers of antiques from different countries (England seems to be the best) would have similar goods. In my house we have a sideboard and a shelved wardrobe with Art Nouveau styling. A recent auction had these pieces:

























Art Nouveau stencils would be an affordable way to add some style to your walls. I'm also currently lusting after this wallpaper dado for underneath a chair rail (available at Cumberland Woodcraft and Design Your Wall).



If you need doo-dads (ahem, accessories) Past Times has some nice reproductions, including these metal pieces.

So I hope you enjoyed the Art Nouveau eye candy. Thanks for sticking with this blog for 100 posts -- and here's to the next 100!


Like this post? You might also enjoy:
Casa Battló
Steampunkish Design Templates
Edison Bar
(Thanks to Doc Sinister for recently suggesting Art Nouveau as a post topic.)

Last night, we finished up Peter Jackson's "The Return of the King", the final video in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

In it, King Theoden, one of the kings of men, is attacked in the final battle of men and lies dying when his niece, Eowyn, finds him and embraces him. As tears slip down her cheeks, he tells her, "I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company I shall not now feel ashamed."

You see, there had been a time when, if Theoden HAD died, he would have felt shame. For a portion of his life, he had given in to evil. And even after being freed from the strongholds of evil, when he had begun walking in truth and life, he had still been fearful in his heart. He had run from battle with the enemy, instead of being strong enough to attack the enemy. But having gone into battle against the enemy with the King of Kings, once he lay dying, he knew he would no longer be ashamed to meet his ancestors.


The writer of Hebrews warns us about not becoming satisfied with lukewarmness, and uses the awareness of our "fathers" and their eyes on our lives as motivation to press on:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us. (Hebrews 12:1)

We are not to just live mediocre "just get by" lives, where we just mark time from Sunday to Sunday, and try not let the enemy gain ground. We are to be on the OFFENSE, not the defense. Matthew 16:18 says that the gates of Hell will not be able to prevail, or withstand, the church... we are not to be passive.


We are not to take a backseat in the battle against the enemy who is at work in this world. You might say, "well, I'm not a preacher," or "my husband isn't even a Christian". Or, "I'm a young mom- I'm already used up and maxed out." Or, "I wasn't raised in a Christian home. I may not be the best Christian, but I'm plugging along and my kids aren't doing drugs. We're doing pretty well in the whole scheme of things."

But THAT is not the abundant life of a child of God. Our charge is not to just keep things from going bad. We are to be like a light in a dark place... so that everything within our influence is made lighter and more accurately seen by our presence.

I can't speak for you, but King Theoden's words really resonated with me: "I go to my fathers, in whose mighty company I shall not now feel ashamed." He felt that way because He had stood up and fought against the powerful enemy, even in the face of fear and death.

When I stand in the presence of King Jesus, and am in the company of men like Paul, David, Moses, and Jim Elliot, and women like Esther, Priscilla, Gladys Aylward, I don't want to feel shame for how little of an impact I made on the world around me. I don't want to be ashamed because I never went to war with the enemy.

Consider this, as written by R. Logan and T. Clegg,

"I believe that the enemy divides all people into two categories: those he can ignore, and those he has to fight. I want to be one of those he has to fight."

Strong words. But, truthfully, even though there may be fear in your heart at words like those, don't they also stir up something more courageous and honorable in you? Something in me jumps up and prays,

"Lord, don't let me mark time. Don't let me be ignore-able. Make me a mighty warrior, even if it means that I have a target on my back. Don't let me die unused and having just kept things 'even keel'. Teach me to fight. Teach me to be on the offensive. Teach me how to bring TRUE light to the world you've put me in."

You may not be called to go to Ecuador to a savage tribe like Jim Elliot, and you may not be a Queen with the ear of powerful people, like Esther was. But you are an important warrior in the battle against evil. Whether you see it today or not, God has a strategic purpose for your life. Seek out what purpose He has for you- and think of the strengths He has given you... what might He have made you to do in the place where He put you?


Lord, reveal to each of us what your strategic purpose is for us. Show us what we were made for. Make us brave against the enemy, who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy all that you would have us do. Help us to be useful in this world, so that we might not be ashamed when our time to die arrives. Make us bright-shining lights in the growing darkness of this world. In the powerful name of Jesus, may it be so.

Over the past year, I've written a lot about sex.

And I've gotten a lot of comments, both publicly, and via e-mail, about the topics I've written about. Most of the feedback has, overwhelmingly, been positive. But I've definitely gotten negative comments as well.

So I thought I'd ask you: how should Christians talk about sex?

Click your answer(s) in the poll at the top right of the sidebar (you CAN choose multiple answers)... and then leave a comment about what you chose (if you want to). I included answers to represent most of the various comments I've gotten, but if you have something else to say beyond what options I wrote out, click "other" and leave a comment about what you mean. For this post, because it's a sensitive topic, I WILL allow anonymous comments to be published.

Of course, you can share anything you like about this issue... the parameters of discussion that are acceptable to you... what DOES make you feel uncomfortable... what topics you personally would like to see addressed... what topics you think need to be addressed (even if it doesn't apply to you), etc. Anything you want to share on this issue of "how Christians should talk about sex" is welcome.

The family and I went to Maker Faire Austin this weekend, and while the Neverwas Haul did not put in an appearance, there was still some steampunk goodness.

I've talked about Douglas Little before (and, indeed, I burn his Tincture of Winchester candle on my bedside table), but as we approach Halloween I thought another look would be appropriate. Mr. Little isn't steampunk -- rather a Modern Alchemist, a Purveyor of Curious Goods, and an Edwardian Dandy -- but he shares many steampunk sensibilities.


The best part of his website is the Press section -- if you poke around you'll find the two spreads he produced for House and Garden. They are full of wonderful things, arranged in a luxurious and opulent way.

In your marriage, that is... do you have them?

I was checking my Bloglines account and came across a Weekend Kindness article asking readers "When Did You Go On Your Last Date?", and asking us to share what we did on that date. Well, our last date happened to be for our 7th anniversary. As I began sharing what we do on our anniversary dates, I realized that it might be something good to share with all of you.

Each year for our anniversary, we do a kind-of marriage "State of the Union" assessment. It's essentially a "checkup" for our marriage. We talk through various areas of our marriage:

• How are we doing in communication?
• How is our intimacy? Am I meeting your desires and needs?
• Spiritually, are we where we should be, as a family, as a couple, and as individuals?
  
• How are we doing in our parenting?
• Are we still working as a team?
• Is there anything I can do to serve you better in any of these areas?
• Is there anything you need that you're not getting from me?

And we also do the "year in review" thing... talking about the high and low points of the last year. And just generally processing how things are going in our marriage. It gives us a "line in the sand", so to speak. Here's where we are. This is how far we've come. We end that anniversary date confident that we are each aware of what's going on. Aware of what we each need to work on. Aware of any bad patterns we've fallen into that we need to work together to change. Aware of our top parenting issues/challenges.

I love anniversary dates; it's always extra-special to talk through all these things together.



(And no, my hair isn't already that long. That picture is from LAST October, before I chopped off my hair!)

My husband and I are currently doing our annual-ish review of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and we're halfway through "The Two Towers" right now.

Last night, much of the focus was on two Hobbits (small & simple people, for those of you who, *gasp*, might not be familiar with LOTR), named Merry & Pippin. Long story short, they end up in the care of a talking tree herder (who is a tree of sorts himself), Treebeard. Gandalf, the incredibly powerful White Wizard (good guy), has charged Treebeard with keeping up with them and not letting them fall into enemy hands.

So then, as they're walking through the forest at one point, Treebeard says to the "halflings" in his care:

I told Gandalf I would keep you safe - - and safe is where I'll keep you.

I couldn't help but think of what a picture this is of Christian parenting. We're charged to care for these little "halflings" we've been given. It's only for a season, and even as we care for them and try to keep them from harm, there's a war brewing. The enemy wants to gain control of our little ones, and he seeks to steal, kill, and destroy their simple souls.

And yet, then, even as I was thinking on this comparison, it came to mind that later in the film, Treebeard lets these two Hobbits walk into open war with him. Their lives are in danger, and yet he protects them as he can, and they begin to fight alongside him.

What a beautiful picture for Christian parents!

There is a time for walking in the forest with our children, protecting them, planning, keeping them safe, and educating them about the real risks of the battle around us. But then there is a time for walking into the battle with them, letting them fight alongside us, and eventually releasing them to fight as skilled and well-taught warriors in the spiritual battle raging in the world around us. I want to walk as not only a care-taker of my children (protecting them from harm, as far as I am able), but as a mentor and instructor for them- preparing them for their future struggles against the enemy. We fight a crafty adversary, but the One with Whom we stand is far stronger!

There is joy in knowing that however dark the battle gets around us (birth control given out to middle schoolers, pornography disguised as entertainment, the devaluing of all that is true and right, and all other forms of "advances" the enemy is making in our generation), there is a sure and victorious outcome if we stand on the Lord's side.

The mere idea of "hospitality" can make us feel overwhelmed, but it doesn't have to be that way. A little bit of planning and a flexible, laid-back attitude makes entertaining a LOT more fun.

PLANNING: Select and cook meals that are meals geared towards groups.
One mistake I made the first few years of our marriage, when having guests over, was that I tried to cook with each individual in mind (thinking "two pork chops per adult, one pork chop per child" or whatever).

One thing I learned when we lived in China was to make several different dishes and cook for the group. For example, in American-meal terms, this might look like a chicken casserole, with garlic green beans, a salad with optional dressings and a french bread loaf. (For some of you, this all may be obvious, but for me this was insightful.) Chinese meals are designed in such a way that if someone eats more than others, it's no big deal. If an unexpected friend drops by and you want them to join you, it's no problem. But if we have pre-proportioned out how many chicken fillets we'll need for the night, then this sort of openness towards variances in a get-together is much more difficult. So instead of thinking "individual portions", I now think in terms of "group cooking" when hosting friends in our home.

PLANNING: Prepare in advance by compiling a couple of tried-and-true menus for hosting guests.
It can be overwhelming to just "come up" with an appetizing meal on the spur of the moment, particularly when that might involve several different "courses" and trying to think of something appealing to kids AND adults, and something that will feed an entire group without breaking the bank. Something that helps is to compile a list of several stress-free meals that are good, dependable meals to serve to guests. (It's not usually a good idea to try brand new recipes out on a night when you're having guests!) Here are a few ideas you might not have come across:

• Mom's No-Peek Chicken: Utterly delicious and easy group meal; this was my favorite meal growing up, and it's now a family favorite around here.
  
• Cheesy Chicken Soup: Another great main dish, it's great for cold Fall and Winter nights. Serve with lots of bread!
• Avocado Dressing: VERY delicious salad dressing... toss with a large bowl of salad
• Gooey Bar: A wonderfully tasty dessert

If you plan out things in advance and have a few well-tested recipes, having friends over won't be near as big a burden, and you'll be able to enjoy the experience much more.

FLEXIBILITY: Don't put the pressure on yourself to have everything perfect.
No one (except maybe the White House) actually has a perfect home, 100% clean and tidy at every moment with flawless meals served in pristine and completely matching dishes. It's OK. Don't strive for perfection- it's unattainable. Instead, focus your energy on having a pleasant attitude and a warm, comfortable spirit in your home. THAT is what your guests will remember most of all... "I really felt welcome and at ease in their home tonight."

It can be fun to serve a delicious meal and have people "ooh" and "aah" over a scrumptious dessert, but what is much more rewarding is to have had another family or several families over and have actually enjoyed the evening. If you can do both, GREAT. But if one has to go, skip the difficult, laborious dessert and enjoy the night with your friends. It's not worth it to stress yourself out over a meal but then not be able to relax. Give yourself the "freedom" to use mis-matched serving bowls, or to have a basic side-dish that's not "gourmet"... enjoy the nights when you have guests over, and you'll begin to find that you're much more willing to extend hospitality more frequently.

PLUS, HOSPITALITY IS BIBLICAL!
One of the hallmarks of the early church was that they shared meals, and they often spent time in each other's homes (see Acts 2 & beyond). Fellowship is a big part of being part of the Body of Christ... and opening up our homes to others enables us to open up our lives to them as well. So for my part, I don't want to stress myself out when trying to live out this aspect of Body life as a believer. I want to enjoy my role as a hostess in our home, and these things help me to have people over to our home with much less stress and much GREATER joy.

Hopefully some of these ideas will help you to live out the scriptural ideas of being hospitable and serving others with joy.

A reader sent this question in this week:

This is not my situation, but is happening to a friend of mine, Michelle, and we are perplexed. There is a man at her church that she spends a lot of time with, and they often go to plays, dinner, etc., together. (She's 30, he's maybe 28. They're in the same age range.) They have never "called" their outings dates, but for all intents and purposes, they seem to be.

However, it's been over a year, and no romantic feelings have been expressed, even though my friend has them and it appears the man has them for her. It seems as though he might just be shy about bringing it up, and Michelle's thing is that she doesn't want to be the pursuer in the relationship. She wants to be pursued!

So my question is this: when is it appropriate to "pull a Ruth," if you will, and also, how would she go about doing this? (Obviously, the situation is different cause this guy isn't Michelle's "kinsman redeemer", but ya know!) ;)


So, Making Home readers, full of wisdom and a variety of life experiences, what say you? How would you advise Michelle in this situation? What would you say to her if she was your friend and came to you for advice? Leave your answers in the comments!

Aesthetically, lab glassware hasn't changed much in the last 100 years. (Borosilicate has been around since the 1890s.) Why does this matter? Well, that means that lab equipment is the one place where steampunk decor overlaps with the ubiquitous modern decor. We like it because it evokes the scientific romanticism of the Victorian era. Modernists like it for the clean lines and clear glass.

What this odd coincidence means is that there is a lot of innovative chemistry lab equipment based decorative items out there for some very fair prices. I ran across a surprising nice set at CB2, the "little sister" of Crate and Barrel, which features affordable modern furnishings.

While I've browsed a lot at the large scientific supply houses for chemistry glassware, I've just ordered everything on this page because it *doesn't* have the ugly modern trappings that many (but not all) of the professional gear has -- plastic stoppers, painted on measurements, etc. The prices are also quite fair when compared to the supply houses. If you'd like to do your own comparisons, check out Cynmar, Delta Education, and Indigo.

(disclosure note: I don't make any money off of these particular links, but my Amazon and Ebay links are affliate links.)

I ran across this project on Curbly the other day. It's simple, easy -- I like projects that could be done in an afternoon or less. It's based on a stainless steel design on Sprout Home, but I think Chrisjob's version is closer to Steampunk. I think I'd stain the wood a dark brown to get a more Victorian feel.

With a little more work, you could extend Chrisjob's plans to a larger wooden test tube rack -- for spices or flowers: