Mr. Prof designer home

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come back together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

~1 Corinthians 7:3-5~

As Beth Moore said today, when releasing her thoughts about the results from a survey of married Christian men,

"Now, let's just go ahead and get it over with. You knew to expect it. They want more intimacy. ... And don't act like they're making you do it either. God agrees with them on this one. He's the very one who inspired the Apostle Paul to tell us not to withhold ourselves from one another except for brief seasons of prayer. (Apparently, some of you have been in prayer a LONG TIME.) [Admin. note: Yes, I bolded that comment- it just cracks me up-- some women consistently withhold intimacy for long periods of time, and it's just not biblical- but Beth says it in such a disarming way-- I love that!]

My beloved Sisters, take it from a woman who's been married a long time and seen a whole lot of marriages go down the drain. PHYSICAL INTIMACY IS PROFOUNDLY IMPORTANT TO A DECENT MARRIAGE. ... You can say "no" or act miserable and disinterested so many times that you teach your man not to want you. But you can't teach him not to want. My man is going to want. That's the way he's wired. SO, I want him to want ME. Want yours to want you, too."

I've written about this before... we ought not deprive our husbands of physical intimacy and delight! I don't know how else to say it. I am the only godly outlet for intimacy that my husband has- and if you are married, you are the only godly outlet for that area of your husband's life. We need to be not only willing- but excited- to meet this desire in our husbands!

I would be furious if my husband wanted to go long stretches of time without even talking to me, without being willing to hear my heart or know my thoughts. I would feel so hurt and saddened-- because communication is one of the important ways that we as women connect. And I know many of you may be there, married to a husband who does not communicate and connect with you in this important way, and that certainly is worth addressing with your husband, and perhaps a counselor.

But God knew this physical intimacy thing would be an issue for many married couples; He wrote it into His Word. Physical intimacy can be for our husbands, like communication is for us, one of the most important ways that we connect as couples. We need to hear, receive, and act on this theme from the Word- "the wife does not have authority over her own body" - "do not deprive". Just something to think about (and act on!).

It shouldn't surprise me (since I own a very steampunk miltary jacket by the same company), but it did. The Ralph Lauren Company, which has been doing "vintage Americana" styles for almost as long as I have been alive, is a treasure trove of decorating ideas that fit the steampunk aesthetic. I am most impressed by the styling of their photo shoots -- 80% of the items in the pictures are not for sale, but simply to create ambience. (They have plenty of products, too, but they tend to be pricey. I've seen occasional pieces on deep discount at stores like Marshall's, and discount linens at Ross.)



The above bookshelf, for instance, could be improvised readily with steel pipe, painted a glossy black, topped with furniture grade shelving. (From the New Bohemian Collection, which is the most steampunk of the collections.)


The camp chair, above, appears in many of the collections. I think there are plenty of wooden folding chairs out there that could be made steampunk with a brocade or leather, perhaps some brass accents.


This photo frame seems like a simple fabrication with some stripped brass canisters.

In the Hilter Hills Collection you find a maritime influenced collection with interesting 'workroom' style furniture.

The La Boheme collection has elements of Gothic Steampunk -- lots of blacks and reds.

And, to a lesser extent, The Sheltering Sky Collection, The Secretariat Collection (it's very horsey), and The Desert Hills Collection for some Western Steampunk.

Conant Custom Brass is a custom brass fabricator in Vermont. Their online shop is chock full of steampunk styled items -- you just have to poke around a bit to find them. There are lovely clocks and rain gauges -- like the float and level rain gauge (of their own design) shown above. They have brass table fans and an adjustable brass draftsman table lamp.

They even have things I've never heard of before -- brass "dust corners" -- triangles that can be installed in stair corners to simplify sweeping:


They do a lot of historical commisions and custom work.

If any of you steampunk engineers need some inspiration, I suggest reverse engineering their illuminated signs: When an image is etched into the smooth surface of plate glass that's illuminated from the side, it glows magically. Letters and graphics give the impression they're generating their own light


And, just in case you were doubting their steampunk cred, they even make rayguns.

Tip of the Hat to Apartment Therapy

• The, Ahem, Easier Thing- Crunchy Con rebuts Linda Hirschman's attacks on stay-at-home wives & mothers
• Children Are a Blessing - A working mother shares some insights from her workplace about cultural attitudes towards children
• Is Family a Valid Feminist Choice? - This question has prompted women like the aforementioned Hirschman (and other historical feminists) to assert that women ought not have the option of staying at home, lest they exercise that option out of feelings of obligation or cultural expectation.
• SUBMISSION - Amy has written an excellent post about what biblical submission means, particularly in the face of disagreement. Go read it.
  

To continue our recent fascination with light bulbs, Michelle, over at Curious Expeditions, found these carbon arc lights at the Electrotechnical Museum in Budapest. She says "They give off an eerie, shifting, pearlescent glow."

Aren't they lovely?

She has a full set of pictures from the museum on Flickr.

If you'd like to read more about antique bulbs, see Kilokat's Antique Light Bulb Site.

I have been meaning for a while to write about Douglas Little, a "modern alchemist" and indeed, I will write at more depth at a later time on his exquisite dark taste that overlaps steampunk. (Among other notable things, he introduced Andy Paiko to the "general public" -- assuming you consider shoppers at Barney's the "general public.")

For today, however, I wanted to introduce you to his Modern Alchemy Candles. I don't normally include candles in my home decorating, but Mr Little's were too hard to pass up -- I'm afraid I just ordered his Tincture of Winchester. I couldn't resist infusing my house with the scent of "wood, 19th century lacquer, and smoky gunpowder."

If, perhaps, you are more of a pacifist steampunk you may prefer some of his other scents:

opium den: collapse in a languid, hazy cloud of resin, opiates and tobacco fumes

ex libris: antiquated leather-bound volumes of handmade papers and parchment permeate and seduce the senses

coney island: briny ocean scents with popcorn and machinery

speak easy: gin, pipe tobacco, and discretion

If you've been around here for awhile, you know how much I love to read. If you haven't, just take a gander over at my reading list on the sidebar over to the right... yes, I'm reading all of those simultaneously, and for the record, I've added about 3-4 books since updating that list! :)

So today I'd like to hear from you:

1. NAME THREE BOOKS YOU'VE READ THAT HAVE CHALLENGED YOU OR MADE YOU THINK
2. NAME THREE BOOKS YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ
3. NAME YOUR THREE FAVORITE BOOKS OF THE BIBLE
4. NAME ONE BOOK (different from those listed in #1 & #3, if possible) YOU'VE READ THAT YOU WOULD RECOMMEND TO ANY CHRISTIAN WOMAN

Can't wait to hear from you ladies; I always enjoy reading through the answers to these Quick Queries. (And yes, if you can't think of three in each of the first three categories, well, then, just list the one or two that you CAN think of!) Just like all of the quick queries, there are no "right" answers here- just answer!

Adam, Larry, Bono, and Edge, my hat's off to you. This song is spiritually deeper than many of the so-called-Christian bands' tunes out there.

Check out these lyrics to "Window In The Skies":

American society has long placed a high premium on being a leader. Leadership skills are hot commodities on transcripts and resumes. Leaders of companies and organizations are revered. Even within the church, there is often a strict division between leaders and laity (aka, those of us in the pews).

So as parents, we are often led to believe that our aim is to produce leaders. That the goal of parenting is to produce strong individuals. However, not every child is naturally a leader. Should we then, in an attempt to produce a future CEO or President of An Important Community Club, mold that child against his/her grain to have "leadership" skills? In considering this question, this is what I've come up with. (As always, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.)

Our aim ought not be to make a "leader", but rather to help our sons and daughters have discretion enough to know what things to follow. Our society has a bad connotation with the word "follow"- but really following is an EXCELLENT thing- if we're following the right thing.

If a daughter is falling prey to the materialism rampant in American society (even in children and teens), and following her friends in a desire for more and more toys, rather than training in leadership skills, we should begin training her in discretion. This can happen by watching the commercials on TV and asking questions- "what are they trying to get you to believe when they say '_________' about those dolls?" Or "what do you think about _______?" When we're watching a TV show, we ask questions like, "Why did Laura follow Nellie and end up doing that bad thing?" "What do you think you would have done?" "What's the right thing to do?" We can also find examples of someone following someone in a good way... and ask questions about that. Begin getting those kinds of questions to roll around in her heads... so that when she encounters something wrong (whether or not you've talked about it before), she will have a built-in system of evaluation about whatever it is that others are doing, playing with, or saying. Whether or not she is a leader, she will then be equipped to evaluate what others are saying, even those peers she would normally be swayed by. (Of course, just as most things in child rearing, this will need to be continually taught and reinforced.)

To me, teaching discretion is a more important parenting task than teaching leadership... and you can do that while walking down the aisle in Target, you can do it by looking through catalogs, you can do it by looking through Proverbs and finding applicable verses about lust for things, etc... you can do it by watching commercials, and you can do it by pre-game and post-game commentary before and after playing with friends.

Frankly, I think we ought to be all training our children to be better followers- but we just need to make sure they know what to follow. Our society highly prizes "leaders"- but not many people actually get to be full-out leaders... whether at a job, or in government, or at home or whatever, there's always a chain of command and an authority placed over us. And some people may never get to be the 'leader'- but ALL of us get to be followers at one point or another.

And of course, as Christian parents, we want our children to willingly submit their lives to God's leadership. This all may just be semantics, but I'm just trying to raise a different way of looking at this situation.... In so many ways, if you have a son or daughter who is a "follower", it can be a GREAT thing... I would just spend time shaping his/her view of what is worth following, a la Philippians 4:8.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

In my mind, it should not be our aim to raise all of our children to be "leaders", without regard to who God made them to be. Instead, we should help our sons and daughters know how to discern what is worthy of following after. Thoughts or comments?

"Consider this," author and speaker Tony Campolo says.

"The typical size of an American house has increased 40 percent in the last 25 years. It's not because we're having more children; we're having fewer children! We need bigger and bigger houses simply to hold all the stuff we don't need. What's even worse is that we're renting out space in storage bins because we can't contain all the stuff we have in the huge houses we have at our dispoal. It has become an insane society as far as surplus is concerned."

- - Taken from "Laying it Down: Learning to Live With Less In a Culture of Excess", by Jesse Carey, in the May-June 2007 edition of Relevant Magazine

We're about halfway through what will hopefully be a "farewell" tour to see family and friends. We just spent the last two days at my in-law's home, where my mother in law taught me how to sew. What a wonderful thing it is to craft a dress for a wonderful daughter! So for show and tell today, I want to show you pictures of the "firstfruits" of my sewing endeavors. Here's the one we made together (front and back views as best I could get pictures of them on my wiggly one-year-old!):

I don't think I've told you ladies just how much I like the egg. Scrambled, fried, or on a sandwich. Omelets, french toast, dutch puffs. Used for extra filling inside lasagne & casseroles, or for a good coating on a pastry, eggs are SO versatile, so full of protein, and so delicious!

Here are some of my favorite delicious and easy egg-y recipes: Oven-Baked French Toast & Dutch Puff, and here's an article about controlling your appetite by eating the incredible, edible egg!

Happy eating!

This post will seem obvious to some people. And to others, it will seem completely foreign, like learning a new language. Perhaps some might even see this as a fearful thing to be avoided. But I feel compelled to share this: I believe that transparency is vital for a friendship to grow beyond surface-level interactions.

LET HER SEE THE REAL YOU
If we are going to have authentic friendships, others have to know us. We have to open up; we must let others see us for who we really are. Without pride and pretense, but without false humility either. Others won't be able to speak into our lives if they don't know where we are, nor will there every be anything beyond shallow conversation if they don't know about the things that make our hearts soar. Basically, we will not have any genuine friends if we don't let the door of our hearts open up to allow others inside.

It can be a difficult thing, yes. It requires risk, yes. It may even mean rejection, yes. At times, we will have to be very wise and use discretion as to who we share our hearts with. But the rewards infinitely outweigh the risks. Opening up to others not only ministers to you- but it will minister to them.

Now I'm not talking about telling your deepest, darkest secrets to a lady you've just met at a luncheon. But I AM saying that when we are in a friendship and the opportunity comes to share, then more often than not, we will be blessed if we opt to share transparently with the other woman. Yes, there are gossips who will nibble up morsels and tidbits and consume our lives as they would a romance novel, but that concern is really addressed in the initial discussion of how to choose a godly friend.

LIVING LIFE AS AN OPEN BOOK
Honestly, I find that my life is more effectively used by God in the lives of others, and that my friendships have grown deeper when I treat my life as an open book. I hate having secrets or trying to remember who knows what. It is just easier for me to love others and minister to others if I am open about my own life- the good, the bad, and the ugly things that have happened to me, that I have done to others, and that have been part of the shaping of who I am today.

That's not to say that I go around blabbing my most personal and intimate details to any stranger on the street, but I am not going to keep a closet full of hidden away facts about myself. Instead, I'm going to try to shed the light of Christ into every area of my life, confess those things that are unattractive and ugly, and share my story--even my failures and hurts-- with anyone I can, in hopes that God can use my good, bad, and ugly to encourage others towards Himself.

MAKING MY WHOLE LIFE AVAILABLE FOR HIS USE
I want my whole life to count for Him- and I want to have friendships with all kinds of women that will draw more and more women deeper and deeper in their relationship with Jesus. If it takes me being open about my life in order to help others walk more closely with Him, then YES- it is ABSOLUTELY worth the risk, the potential rejection, the possible shame, and anything else the enemy might try to use against me as a result of my openness.

Here's what I'm trying to get at: THIS is your real life. Your past, present, and future all make up the story He's weaving in your life... there's no re-do. This is the one crack you get at this thing called life. Whether it's ugly or painful, boring, or embarrassing, it's your story. And the same goes for my life - THIS is my real life... so, for my part, I want Him to be glorified from all of it. I want every single drop of my life to be squeezed out and used for His potential glory. I want even the pain and shame of my past to encourage my friends and the women I know towards godliness.

We all like to be around someone who is REAL- who has flaws and isn't afraid to admit it, but who is fully and intentionally running after God. I want to be that kind of woman, so that I can be useful, so that I might have deep friendships, and ultimately, so that my life will glorify the God Who made me. And I want to encourage you to be that kind of woman, too.

In this modern and self-seeking and all-accomodating age, we have muddied the waters of what it means to be a follower of Jesus. Christians talk about a "Sinner's prayer" and use extrabiblical (and perhaps even unbiblical) phrases like "a God-shaped hole in your soul" and "ask Jesus into your heart" to describe the miracle of salvation.

Contrast our simplistic and self-focused terminology with the simple yet radical description given by Peter when he was asked about what one should do with the truth about Christ:

"Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to Himself." -Acts 2:28-29

The focus is on repentance. Forgiveness. Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit, and God Himself.

Just some food for thought that jumped off the page at me when I was reading Acts this morning, and I felt compelled to share.

Here is a list of top-tier EXCELLENT books I would classify as "must reads" for the thinking Christian woman. While it is not a comprehensive list, and I will continue to add to it as I find noteworthy books, these are all books that have been critical in shaping my heart, life, and mind. I pray they will be a blessing in your life as well.