Show & Tell: Dealing With Difficult People

Normally, I don't do back-to-back show and tells... but this is my blog, and I have something else to bring to Show & Tell this week! :) You may have already figured it out, but Show & Tells are my method of compiling interesting links for whatever topic is on my mind at a given time. Hope they're helpful for you, too.

After feeling deflated today, having been around a very discouraging person, I began looking into this topic of dealing with difficult people. In researching, I came across many various ideas and methods for different kinds of difficult people you may encounter:

• "DIFFICULT PEOPLE ARE GOD'S GRINDSTONES": This blogger, Seth, offers an interesting point of view that we don't really want to think about when we're facing difficult people... namely, that God has them in our lives for a reason. Could be that I need to learn patience, self-control, gentleness... (hmmm... I seem to remember a list that goes something like that... ) and that this difficult person is God's gift to me so that I might learn that lesson through my interactions with her.

• HANDLING & HELPING A DIFFICULT PERSON IN A GROUP: This is an account -by NavPress- of how a small group leader & his wife helped one difficult person who continually caused problems in their class. While acknowledging that this is not a cure-all, these were their steps for loving, helping, and holding accountable a woman they call "Liz":

Assign a personal discipler

Set clearly understood limits and consequences.

Make the person responsible for her actions.

Expect change.

• TIPS FOR HANDLING TROUBLEMAKERS: Rick Warren has nicknamed several varieties of difficult people: The Sherman Tank, The Nit Picker, The Bubble Buster, The Volcano, and others... and suggests these steps for responding biblically to difficult people:

Realize you can't please everyone-- even Jesus couldn't!

Refuse to play games-- lovingly speak the truth.

Never retaliate.

Pray for them.

• This article examines how the apostle Paul dealt with difficult people. I wish I could copy & paste part of the last point for you, but the website expressly forbids partial copying. Please- go to the site, and scroll down nearly to the bottom and read the last section. The author offers excellent advice on how to examine yourself and be above reproach in dealing with difficult people.
  

• Last, but certainly not least, I want to point you to three excellent articles that all come from a website called "Conquerors in Christ".

1. DO YOU CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK? Here, he deals with how to respond to unfair criticism, or when others see us in a negative light.
2. DON'T GET ENTANGLED IN THE ROPES OF REVENGE. When I know God and put my trust in Him, I will feel less "need" to respond when people hurt me, knowing that God "has my back".
3. REMOVING YOURSELF FROM THOSE WHO SOW STRIFE: When we've done all we can do, is it biblical or right to withdraw from a relationship?